~ Good Hair Moment ~

During my extended break from blogging, a lot happened in my life.

Some things good.

Some things bad.

Some things happy.

Some things very, very sad.

Such is life.

Early in 2009, one of my closest friends in life was diagnosed with cancer. It was a shock to all of us. Tricia was only 43 years old & married with 3 young boys. Her doctors decided that her treatment would need to be quick and aggressive, because of how advanced her cancer was.

During the beginning of her 6 week course of radiation & chemotherapy, we lost our beloved dog, Allie. Allie finally lost her battle with heart & kidney issues. Needless to say, we were devastated.

Just a few days after losing Allie, there was a knock on my door. It was a floral delivery person. I was shocked, because we have lived in our home for over 20 years, and have NEVER had flowers delivered before.

It was a beautiful arrangement in a vase with a card attached.



Imagine how touched I was to see that the card was from my sweet friend, Tricia. She sent flowers to comfort us, because she knew how much we loved Allie and how much we were hurting.

That sweet lady was going through the absolute worst time in her precious life, and she took the time to comfort us. Knowing how caring and thoughtful she always was, that did not surprise me, but it touched me all the same.

Only a few short weeks after receiving those flowers, my sweet friend lost her battle with cancer. She didn't even make it through the complete 6 weeks of treatment.

To say we were shocked would be an understatement.

Even now, I don't think I've fully comprehended that I won't get to see her beautiful smile again. Hear her infectious laughter. Or hug her just one more time.

I know that she is with our Lord in Heaven, and that she is 100% at peace. But those of us left behind, well, it's much more difficult to sort all of the feelings out.

Tricia was one of the few people that I've met in my life that I had an instant connection with. When I met her, I loved her. She was so accepting of me exactly how I am...flaws and all. (And bless my heart, I have many.) I, in turn, accepted her the same way. We "got" each other. Completely. I'm old enough to know that in this life...having a friend like that is a very rare blessing.

Life keeps us all so busy, that it's hard to make time for the people you really want to be with, but we managed a few times to carve out some alone time just to talk, share our pasts, and dream about our futures.

One night in particular, Tricia and I had dinner at a Mexican restaurant, then went to Barnes & Noble to purchase some books for our boys (of course), then we got a Starbucks while we were in the bookstore and sat outside together drinking our coffees while talking and laughing. Always laughing.

That night, we got so tickled as we shared things from our past with each other. We even found out that we had both gone out with the same guy (at different times, obviously) when we were younger, but we did not know each other then. It was so funny. She told me about her first love, and I told her about mine.

I told her that I had dated just a few boys when I was younger, and I wished them all well in their lives. But there was this ONE.....Well, let's just say, I shared with her the fantasy that the little 13 year old girl inside of me had. It's not that I wished horrible things for him, mind you, but I did have a fantasy that I would LOVE to see come true.

I told her how this boy named Bozo (not his real name, of course) had broken my heart as a young girl. He was my first love, and he tortured me all through my teenage years...literally right up until the time I met Shannon.

Tricia and I knew many of the same people, but she had never met Bozo before.

Even after marrying Shannon, one day out of the clear blue, Bozo called my mom at her work to ask about me. He told her that he had had a bad dream about me and just wanted to make sure that I was okay. My mother (in her infinite wisdom) told him that I had the most amazing life, with the most amazing husband, and two amazingly beautiful boys. (God love her for that.) He, of course, said, "Well, that's all I wanted to know. I just had a bad dream and wanted to make sure she was okay."

In case any of you are confused at this point in the story, let me translate what he said to my mother in plain "Bozoese" for you. "I'm calling to see if good ol' Amy is still available and just waiting on my call. See my wife has left me, and I need a date, because Heaven forbid I be alone for one evening." (Foreign languages can be so tricky to translate sometimes, but I'm fluent in Bozoese.)

I told Tricia that the 13 year old girl inside of me longed to run into Bozo one day. I imagined I would be with my family, and they would all look perfect...like they had been carved out of cream cheese or something. I imagined he would be single, alone, bald, and with any luck, extremely overweight with a good amount of hair growing all over his back and out of his ears. (Don't judge. This is my fantasy.)

In my fantasy I saw my family and I running into him at some social gathering, and he would see me from across the room...and eat dirt. He would feel like such an idiot for ever letting me go. (13 year old girls are very dramatic.) I, of course, would look alarmingly beautiful when all of this took place. (It is my fantasy after all.) I told Tricia that I wanted all of these things to happen just as I dreamed them up to be....and most importantly, my hair had to look good. I definitely wanted my hair looking great when he laid eyes on me. (Again, don't judge.)

We laughed out loud for a long time about my silly 13 year old girl fantasy. I said, "Tricia, I REALLY want my good hair moment one day." She laughed out loud (she had the best laugh) and said to me, "Baby, you'll have your good hair moment one day."

That was a couple of years before my sweet friend went home to be with the Lord.

The evening of Tricia's visitation was a very emotional one for every one that knew and loved Tricia. I was no exception. Knowing that I would be saying goodbye to one of my dearest friends was devastating.

So many people came to the funeral home that it was overwhelming and wonderful. Tricia was dearly loved by so many. When it was my turn to finally say goodbye to Tricia, her husband Frank walked with me up to the casket. Tears fill my eyes even now as I sit here typing these words. My precious friend was gone. It hit me like a tidal wave.

I completely lost it.

There were so many people inside the funeral home that it was very hot inside the building. I told Shannon that I desperately needed to get some air, so he walked outside with me. I needed some fresh air, and I needed to compose myself.

Our friends Michel and Bo came outside with us as well. All of us just in shock. Not able to comprehend that we had lost our friend.

As we were standing outside, all of a sudden, Michel looked at me and said, "Amy, your hair looks so good. It's really pretty."

Now if you've ever read this blog before, chances are you know I love nothing better than a good hair compliment, but it felt strange considering the circumstances that we were in. Nevertheless, I was still very appreciative of her kind words, so I said, "Well, thank you."

Not even 5 minutes after Michel said those words to me, I looked up, and saw Bozo walking out of the funeral home and coming my direction. I kid you not. I had not seen him in LITERALLY 20 years. I looked at him. He looked at me. And finally I said, "Bozo? Who are you here to see?"

He said, "I'm here to see my friend Frank, because his wife passed away."

I looked at him in complete shock and asked, "Did you know Tricia?"

He said, "No, I never had the pleasure of meeting her, I'm sorry to say."

I, of course, gathered my composure, and introduced him to my friends and my family. (Who all looked as if they had been carved out of cream cheese, I might add.)

We exchanged the normal awkward words that you do with someone you haven't seen in over 20 years (and that you used to date). Once again though, I just had to ask him, "And you NEVER met Tricia?" To which he replied, "No, I never had the pleasure."

All of a sudden, this feeling of joy and laughter washed over me. I could hear my sweet friend's laughter and feel her presence. After Bozo and I said our goodbyes, Shannon looked at me and said, "Well, God and Tricia gave you your good hair moment." He went on to say, "I can just picture Tricia up in Heaven elbowing God and saying, 'Hurry up!! He's walking outside the building now, make Michel tell her that her hair looks great!!"

Funny thing is, I could picture that too. In that moment, God gave me my friend back. For most of my life, I longed for that fantasy, and when it finally came true, it had nothing to do with Bozo....and everything to do with my sweet friend and God. Don't get me wrong, I loved that my hair looked good, but in all the ways I envisioned that fantasy taking place.....I could have never hoped for something that wonderful.

Only moments before, I was sobbing at the reality of never hearing Tricia's laughter. Never feeling her presence. But in that "Good Hair Moment," God gave her back to me.

It is a moment I will treasure as long as I live.

I'm so happy Tricia was there to share it with me.

I was humbled too, when I really realized how much God does listen to us. In the BIG picture, my 13 year old girl fantasy really did not matter at all.....but God knew it mattered to me. He knew it mattered to Tricia for me. He knew how much our friendship mattered, and He let us have that moment. I will never forget it.

I also realized, that if God cared enough to let the little 13 year old girl inside of me have her "Good Hair Moment," then the really important things in life that I prayed about on a daily basis, He already had covered.

"Be happy with the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." ~Psalm 37:4

There is not one day that goes by that I don't think of Tricia.

So many things have happened in my life over the last 2 years that I want to tell her about. I've even gone to the phone to call her....then I remember.

I really miss my friend, but thanks to the promises of God, I will be with her again one day.

Treasure the ones you love. Tell them that you love them. Because at the end of the day, they are ALL that matters in this crazy world we live in.

"I like her because she smiles at me and means it." ~Anonymous



"What this woman has done will also be told as a memorial to her." ~ Matthew 26:13