One. Two. Three.
Is this thing on?
(Just ignore me.)
It has been a long time since my last post. During my blogging break, I had all intentions of getting loads of housework done, and finally living in Martha Stewart like conditions. But that didn't happen.
Instead of working around the house, I had to deal with more medical issues for myself (I am okay; Thank You, Jesus!), and two kids that have been (and still are) very sick with the flu.
I did, however, manage to spend some time with God. I read a great book by Donna Partow called "Soon to be a Major Motion Picture."
I learned a lot about myself while reading this book. I learned so much about God in my life, but the main thing that I have realized about myself is that I have SO much more to learn. This past year has been a difficult one for me physically, but it has really taken a toll on me emotionally. I have noticed things about myself that I am not proud of. Things about my personality that I simply don't like. I won't bore you with all of the nonsense that goes on in my head on a daily basis, but I will tell you this: I have noticed that instead of just facing people and situations that have hurt me head on....I just run in the opposite direction. I don't know why I do this either. It's almost like I'd rather have my toenails ripped off one by one than to have to deal with conflict of any kind.
I run from situations that make me uncomfortable like a scared rabbit, and I don't know why. I am in the process of spending more time with God and trying to figure this out.
As the tens of you who read this blog probably already know, I am a very visual learner. And in the book "Soon to be a Major Motion Picture," Donna Partow describes a scene from the movie Out of Africa.
I will share with you what Donna says about this particular scene from Out of Africa.
The following words in bold are Donna Partow's exact words.
The movie Out of Africa contains an interesting scene where Karen Blixen has just arrived in Kenya from Denmark and is completely clueless about life on the savannah. She is out walking, unarmed, when a lioness confronts her. As she stands there terror-struck, a wise hunter happens upon her and offers this advice from shouting distance: "Don't run, Baroness, or she'll think you're something good to eat." Baroness Blixen stares the lion right in the eyes, stands her ground, and sure enough, the lion walks away.
Yes, we have an enemy roaming around like a roaring lion, actively seeking someone to devour. But if we simply stand firm in the face of his attacks, he'll go roar somewhere else. We have God's Word on that: Resist the devil, and he will flee from you (James 4:7, italics added). We don't need to become obsessed with him, but neither should we ignore him. We should see him for the roaring lion that he is and respond accordingly: Don't run. Stand firm.
Don't run. Stand firm.
Those words really touched me, because only a week or so earlier.....I was running scared. Shannon and I were shopping in Walmart (where else?), and I saw someone from my past that I absolutely did not want to run into. I barely caught a glimpse of this person, and I grabbed Shannon's arm and immediately went in the opposite direction. I could not get us out of that store quickly enough.
How ridiculous does that sound? I have not done anything to this person to be ashamed of, but I ran anyway. I still don't know the answer to "why" I do that, but I love now having the visual of Meryl Streep staring down that lioness. The next time I find myself in that type of uncomfortable situation, I pray that I don't run. I pray that I stand firm.
1 Peter 2:23
"When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly."
Anyway, for now, I am spending more time trying to work on seeing myself from God's perspective, so that I don't get devoured, so to speak. And the only way that I can do that is to spend more time with God.
I have missed blogging, but I have needed the break from it to deal with all of my emotional nonsense. Hopefully, I will be back posting regularly soon, but until then, just know that I am a work in
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.