Monday, February 16, 2009

It's Been A Long Time.......

Testing. Testing.

One. Two. Three.



Is this thing on?

(Just ignore me.)

It has been a long time since my last post. During my blogging break, I had all intentions of getting loads of housework done, and finally living in Martha Stewart like conditions. But that didn't happen.

Instead of working around the house, I had to deal with more medical issues for myself (I am okay; Thank You, Jesus!), and two kids that have been (and still are) very sick with the flu.

I did, however, manage to spend some time with God. I read a great book by Donna Partow called "Soon to be a Major Motion Picture."



I learned a lot about myself while reading this book. I learned so much about God in my life, but the main thing that I have realized about myself is that I have SO much more to learn. This past year has been a difficult one for me physically, but it has really taken a toll on me emotionally. I have noticed things about myself that I am not proud of. Things about my personality that I simply don't like. I won't bore you with all of the nonsense that goes on in my head on a daily basis, but I will tell you this: I have noticed that instead of just facing people and situations that have hurt me head on....I just run in the opposite direction. I don't know why I do this either. It's almost like I'd rather have my toenails ripped off one by one than to have to deal with conflict of any kind.

I run from situations that make me uncomfortable like a scared rabbit, and I don't know why. I am in the process of spending more time with God and trying to figure this out.

As the tens of you who read this blog probably already know, I am a very visual learner. And in the book "Soon to be a Major Motion Picture," Donna Partow describes a scene from the movie Out of Africa.

I will share with you what Donna says about this particular scene from Out of Africa.



The following words in bold are Donna Partow's exact words.

The movie Out of Africa contains an interesting scene where Karen Blixen has just arrived in Kenya from Denmark and is completely clueless about life on the savannah. She is out walking, unarmed, when a lioness confronts her. As she stands there terror-struck, a wise hunter happens upon her and offers this advice from shouting distance: "Don't run, Baroness, or she'll think you're something good to eat." Baroness Blixen stares the lion right in the eyes, stands her ground, and sure enough, the lion walks away.

Yes, we have an enemy roaming around like a roaring lion, actively seeking someone to devour. But if we simply stand firm in the face of his attacks, he'll go roar somewhere else. We have God's Word on that: Resist the devil, and he will flee from you (James 4:7, italics added). We don't need to become obsessed with him, but neither should we ignore him. We should see him for the roaring lion that he is and respond accordingly: Don't run. Stand firm.


Don't run. Stand firm.

Those words really touched me, because only a week or so earlier.....I was running scared. Shannon and I were shopping in Walmart (where else?), and I saw someone from my past that I absolutely did not want to run into. I barely caught a glimpse of this person, and I grabbed Shannon's arm and immediately went in the opposite direction. I could not get us out of that store quickly enough.

How ridiculous does that sound? I have not done anything to this person to be ashamed of, but I ran anyway. I still don't know the answer to "why" I do that, but I love now having the visual of Meryl Streep staring down that lioness. The next time I find myself in that type of uncomfortable situation, I pray that I don't run. I pray that I stand firm.

1 Peter 2:23
"When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly."


Anyway, for now, I am spending more time trying to work on seeing myself from God's perspective, so that I don't get devoured, so to speak. And the only way that I can do that is to spend more time with God.



I have missed blogging, but I have needed the break from it to deal with all of my emotional nonsense. Hopefully, I will be back posting regularly soon, but until then, just know that I am a work in very slow progress. And, God willing, I'll be able to post about making progress with my emotional nonsense, amen?;)

Ephesians 6:10-12
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.


God Bless,
Amy:)

73 comments:

Cheffie-Mom said...

I'm so glad to see you back. Each time I blog, I check to see if you have posted something new.

I'm going to check out this book. Thank you. Take care of yourself. (:

Blessings to you and your family.

Jenny said...

I haven't read that book, but I may have too!

Glad to hear from you, I hope you youngens feel better soon. You too!
Jen

Sharon said...

It was nice to see you posted, Yes this flu thing is going rapid everywhere. I am praying so hard that I don't get this, I have already had a cold/sinus infection this year. I am praying for you and your family.

Blessings

Tracey said...

Glad your back! God Bless!

Chris and Wanda said...

So great to see you back again! Glad that your blogging break was useful; cleaning spiritual house with God is so much better than having a beautiful house but dusty insides. I pray that the Lord will heal your wounds and help you find His comfort (2 Cor 1-2). Love you so much, sorry that you were sick; when it rains, it pours!

Wanda

sa061545@bellsouth.net said...

Excellent!!! I have missed your posts so much! You know you spoiled me as I always had my coffee with you in the morning!
I love you, sweet Baby Girl, and I'm so sorry my boys have been so sick! I LOVE YOU ALL!!! Mom :)

Paula (SweetPea) said...

I've thought of you often wondering how you are. I meant to email you this weekend but just didn't. I often wonder how your progress is medically with your back.

I'm so glad you have had a great time with the Lord. Okay but not great as in fun-filling revelations. However, growing with God is always great, amen? Even when it's difficult or painful, it's still awesome to see ourselves grow and become more like His character.

I run from people in stores also...I could probably explain why though...just not in the mood or have time for frivolous small talk. That's awful. I'd rather just not know why. Oh well.

However, I do find myself attacking conflicts and hurts head on. I'm not a verbal person so I do tend to do it written in email. I find most of the time when I confront the hurts or issues, I get a dead wall. So, maybe I'm the oddball and most people like to avoid confrontation. I know I come from TWO generations who like to avoid confrontation and like everything nicey nicey. Confrontation in love is hard. So, beware, when you have the courage to confront you may hit a wall because most people don't initiate conversations on hurts, betrayals, etc.

This life is hard. One of which is the most difficult...relational.

You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

Shoot me a line. Let me know how you are and if there's anything new to lift to the Father.
Love,
Paula

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Tend to this, Amy. I think there is more here than meets the eye. Here's the deal...just keep seeking after God in his Word, and he will make your life purpose very clear. When you don't know what else to do, seek Him and then all the more. Stay grounded in the truth of who HE IS, and the enemy will back down everytime. When our minds, our hearts, and our "mouths" are filled with Jesus, there's little wiggle room for the enemy.

Loved your thoughts here and want you to take time to grow with Jesus. I know that you are doing this; it's time well spent my friend.

I, too, am trying to assess my time and how much of it I spend in blogland. So far, I'm keeping all the "balls" up in the air, but it's not been easy.

Thanks for checking in. Walk in the freedom that is yours today because of the cross of Jesus Christ. He is so worthy of our time.

love u.

peace~elaine

Denise said...

Hi Amy. This book sounds so great. I am a "runner" too and have always struggled with it. Thank you for the recommendation. I'll be looking for you back soon.

Love,
Denise

much2ponder said...

((((Amy)))) this the second post concerning this issue and I can so relate to what you are saying here. I posted about something similar just a week or so ago. I have been looking at these same type issues for a while now, but I needed this reminder about standing and looking the enemy right in the eye. Thank you for being honest and open. Your words touched me deeply tonight.

LynnSC said...

Oh... I was so glad to see that you posted again!! I love to come here and see what God has put onto your heart.

Confrontation is not something that I like either. I need to ponder this subject along with you.

Hope everyone in your family is well...

Blessings,
Lynn

Smiling Shelly said...

Amy,

You did a great job of putting some of the things you've been feeling down into words. This book sounds wonderful - I may have to call you from the bookstore one day for the name of it. ;)

I'm so glad that I 'stalked' into your life and that we have become such good friends. There is never a dull moment with you around. Even when things seem to be falling apart around you, you always lift my spirits. Please know that I am always here for you if you need me.

Love you bunches, my friend.
((BIG HUGS!!))

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Glad to see you are back...I hope the boys are feeling better!! We just got over it too....it was horrible!!

Hugs,

Lisa

lil kiss said...

Amy,
I love how you seen the lioness and the running away. Saying it like this really slaps me in the face! I have just noticed this about myself as well. I have been learning a lot about myself these days as well. This is one of the things that God has showed me. Thank you!
~Kristen ><>

diane said...

Dear Amy, in the past your posts sounded full of cofidence but recently you seem to be a little down. I hope you can find your way bck up. Often when your physical state is not strong you can feel emotionally taxed too. Stare them down!

Mia said...

Every morning I have been stopping by just in case you left a word or two! : ) Actually I WAS hoping you were really taking the break you need and deserve! Then I would say a prayer for you and the family.
I must admit I have done that same thing in Wal-Mart...more than once. I am there all the time so those occassions are many! lol
As I have gotten older though I (hope) I have become bolder in the Lord!!!
Have a great day!

Yolanda said...

Amy,

Good morning! Honestly, I can totally relate to your heart as I have a hand full of women that affect me in the very same way. This just happened to me about 10 days ago in our little community at the grocery store, while I didn't run, I found myself anxious and cutting my eyes often to keep this person in my vision to know where she was at all times. HER tongue is SHARP. By me doing so, I am NOT showing the Light of Christ and I get upset with myself for allowing her to cause me to react this way.

I had never seen Out Of Africa and it was playing a few weekends back on T.V. and my husband informed me that this was a great movie. I loved it and so the visual from your book....well I now get the idea of standing FIRM.

Thank you, I so needed this...yesterday, today and tomorrow...always.

Lovingly,
Yolanda

Nicole said...

Conforntation is not easy, although I find that I don't function very well with unsettled business. So if that means I have to confront to have peace, then I will.

Evan and I hung out with some old friends a couple months ago, and we were talking about confrontation, and the the guy of the couple said that he thought I would not be very confrontational. Evan and I looked at each other and smiled. We obviuosly hadn't seen them in awhile. :) I used to be nonconfromtational but have realized I need peace in relationships, so therefore I am more confrontational than I used to be.

May God richly bless your time spent with him, and may he strengthen this area in your life!


Love,
Nicole

Gina said...

It's so nice to see you back in Blogland. :) I understand why you are taking a break, but I still miss you. I love the excerpt you shared from your book. What a great visual!! I pray your boys will get well soon. Take care my friend and God bless you!!

Hugs,
Gina

Nicole said...

Hey again. I was just doing my hair before Bible Study and thinking about what I wrote and confrontation in general. I wrote that I like peace in relationships, and I should explain that when there are problems and you don't confront them that is "fake" peace because there are actually issues that have been shoved under the carpet. So, I like to talk about the issue so that I can fess up to my part in it all and the other person does not "get away" with continuing to be rude or whatever.

I also used to let people walk all over me, and I get frustrated when people continue to do the same thing to me thinking that I won't confront the issue, or that they can just get away with it. No more Mr. nice Nicole. :) J/K. When I confront I do believe that most of the time I do it in love. At least I pray that I do. I just hate it when people think they can take advantage of me and think I will let them do so.

From my experience a lot of people do not want to own up to their part in it all. They want to believe that they have done nothing wrong. It may be too painful to face and evaluate their motives and actions.

Anyways, this is getting too long. Can you tell this is a "hot topic" for me???:)

Have a good day!

janjanmom said...

Welcome back Kotter, er, I mean Amy. Sometimes I get you two mixed up...heehee.

I love when you get all philosophical. Our brains are very similar. I quit running from an ex I ran into ALL THE TIME and actually spoke in a civil conversation, wished him well and guess what???? I've not crossed paths with him since. Talk about IRONIC!! God meant for me to speak!!

Crystal said...

Welcome back! Glad you're doing okay. That sounds like a good book, I'll have to check it out.

Laura said...

Oh, welcome back, my friend! I have missed hearing about life in Crazyville. But also, I know that there are some things that only some good quality time with the Lord can heal.

This flesh sometimes takes the easy way out (running away) too. It's one of the tragedies of our human condition, I fear. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Rest in His arms, sweetie! And stand firm!

valerie said...

Hello Amy. I've missed reading your daily posts. You always brighten up my day. I understand though, and am keeping you in my prayers.
I echo what Elaine said.
For me, the more I learn about God and spend time with Him in His Word & continue building a friendship with Him, the more I can hear His voice so clearly.
John 15 talks about abiding in Him.
It's true.
I find myself starting to think about certain things and becoming negative in a certain area and immediately I hear God's voice, straightening me out. :)
I pray you will experience peace in your life and that your body will be healed completely.
Glad you checked in.
Sending a big hug all the way from Oklahoma~
Valerie

Allison said...

Hey! I left you some love over on my blog today :)

hulagirlatheart said...

It is a wise person who pauses to assess his strengths and flaws. I'm surprised at age 44 how much I'm discovering that I DON'T know. There are a few folks from my past that I run from,too. I think it's because I don't want to face the truth about who I was when I had a relationship with them. You've given me a beautiful lesson today and a great visual to use the next time I'm facing a fear. God Bless.

Dianne said...

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to comment on this post, I wanted to give it my full attention. I am so greatful that you posted this, it helped me a great deal with my own fears and issues I am currenlty dealing with. I'll tell you more about it between two.

I think you are one of the bravest women I have ever "met" and not to belittle what you are writing I do sometimes like to think of running away as living to fight another day, a day when you are stronger. But I got the message and appreciated it, because of a very real issue of mine.

Towards the end there I almost thought you were going to end your blog, I felt a deep stirring in the pit of my stomach, you just can't leave us, well mostly me, well, all me in fact, so there, you hear, I'm not having it, ok?

;o)

Chris and Wanda said...

Amy-just wanted to say that I miss your blogs and miss you so much; I think about you often and prayed for you today. Know that you are on my mind.

Love you, Wanda

Laura said...

Amy? I miss you! I'm praying that life is settling down for you...that you feel Him in everything!

luv you,

Laura

Cheffie-Mom said...

Hi Amy,

I'm just stopping by to say hello.

Blessings,

Debbie

valerie said...

Stopping by to tell you I miss you!
Your blog always brightened my morning.
Hope you're doing ok!
Valerie

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Thinking of you tonight...

peace~elaine

Jamie @ Purposeful Pursuit said...

Oh, friend, I can relate. You are doing what is needful...spending more time with God! I'll be praying for you and I look forward to hearing more about the work God is doing in your heart.

I too am in the midst of a bloggy break...I miss it and hope to be back soon.

Liz said...

Hi Amy. I'm just checking in on you... hope all is going well. We miss you.

Jamie @ Purposeful Pursuit said...

Thinking of you and saying a prayer tonight. I'm back from my bloggy break and I sure could use a few prayers myself.

valerie said...

Miss you too!!!
I think of you often and when I do I lift up a prayer on your behalf. This verse has special meaning to me and I have several initials and dates beside it in my Bible... Psalm 138:8 He will perfect that which concerns you.
God loves you and me and is concerned about every little detail of our lives. I prayed this verse so many times about 5 years ago in a certain situation. That helped me so much to know that God really does care about everything I'm going through or everything I'm trying to make a decision about.....no matter how big or small.
Love you Amy!
Have a blessed day!
Valerie

Chris and Wanda said...

We miss you! Come back, and give us an update. We all love you so much. Know that I am praying for you every day my friend.

Love always, Wanda

janjanmom said...

"Baby come back!!"

I miss your sweet sunny spot on the net.

I hope you come back soon!!

sa061545@bellsouth.net said...

Amy, so many people - especially your Mom - miss reading your blog each day!!!! We love the way have with words!!!
I LOVE YOU!!! and I MISS YOU in Blogland!
Forever and ever love,
Mom :)

Mia said...

Okay now enough is enough! There are bloggy breaks and then there are long jumps off of a high cliff! Where are you o Amy? We miss you!! We all have no witty,exciting,funny,sweet,entertaining,hilarious,inspiring,thought-provoking,yummy lives or blogs of our own so GET BACK HERE ASAP!! Yes I'm yelling! ; )
You are in my prayers everyday don't ever forget that!

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Where the heck are you? I am hoping all is well.....know that I am thinking about you:)

Lisa

Karen - Mommy to four sweeties said...

Hope you are okay. You are one of the blogs I check daily for updates. Thinking of you!

Rilda Peel said...

Blessings Amy...looking at one's self really is a process and in the coming days loving thyself to know thyself is part of the journey. I have discovered that to face those demons meant that freedom is mine. In what ever way it doesn't matter for I am not bound by that any more and only speak of it as I witness to others. I am my worst emeny and accepting that has given me much wisdom. May His spirit revel to thee exactly what you are willing to see for Eternal Releasement. You are worthy and valuable!! Lovingly, rilda *U*

Liz said...

Hi Amy. Thank you so much for super sweet comment yesterday. It was so uplifting, you made some very good points. And I love Peter too. Thank you again for taking the time to reach out like that, it means a lot to me.

I hope all is going well in your world, hope things are on the mend. We miss you around here. But no pressure, just wanted you to know we miss you. :)

Hugs,
Liz

LynnSC said...

Hey Amy! I was hoping to drop by and see some new words of wisdom here....

I hope things are going well for you and your family.

Stop by my blog... I am doing a giveaway...

Blessings my friend,
Lynn

valerie said...

Just wanted to say hello!
Miss you!!!

Sharon said...

Amyyyyy how are youuuuu! Just checking in on you been thinking about you and wanted to say heyyy

I pray everyone is feeling better over there!!
Misss YOU!
How is Allie?

Be blessed

Jamie @ Purposeful Pursuit said...

Just checking in on ya. Hope all is going well.

Nicole said...

Hi Amy! Just wanted to say hi...that's all. Go with God. Go with God. That might sound morbid or something like that, but that's not the intent. That's just what is on my heart. Let Him love you sweet sister! Cause He does so much! Hope you have a very blessed Easter!

Love in Him,
Nicole

Sharon said...

It's a good day, because we have Jesus in our life!
Have a Great Resurrection Sunday!

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Pamela (His maidservant) said...

Miss you Amy...is everything ok?

In His Graces~Psmela

Pamela (His maidservant) said...

I know this craziness you are talking about. But we plunge forward. I would be honored to pray for you and your family!! Keep your humor and keep your God close!!

Ps 40:1-3.

I His Graces~Pamela

Jamie said...

Waaa...Are you ever coming back to bloggy land? I really miss you! Thinking of you and praying for you today.

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Lelia Chealey said...

Hey Amy,
I have thought about you so much and am finally getting over here to visit you and see that you are on a wise woman break.
Be blessed as you seek God deeper than before.
Love to you,
Lelia

Tricia said...

Just thinking about you Amy..hope your enjoying your break and of course the springtime!! Come back sooooooon!

valerie said...

Just wanted to tell you I'm thinking of you this morning.

I miss your posts so much, but I know when you're ready, you'll be back.

Keeping you in my prayers each time you come to mind.

Love,
Valerie

Pamela (His maidservant) said...

Had you on my mind this morning. I so seldom get to blog any more but wanted to stop by and say I miss you and check on your "standing strong" goal. All things are possible through Christ! Your beautiful and I miss your humor....

In His Graces~Pamela

Sharon said...

Been thinking about you, look at all these people that miss you, I thought you were coming back, I guess you were teasing us, hahaha!!
I pray all is going ok for you.
Have a beautiful day my friend :)

diane said...

I miss you Amy. Hope all is well.

Liz said...

Just checking in Amy. I miss you... hope you are doing ok.
Hugs,
Liz

amy said...

Hey Amy!
I just tagged you in one of those annoying "getting to know you" games on my blog. HA! I hope you will come back from your bloggy break long enough to participate...how's that for pressure? Seriously, I love you and hope you are doing well today.

sa061545@bellsouth.net said...

Hey, baby girl! I shared your blog with my friend who has just written a book. I told her what a gift you have AND I MISS YOU!!!!
I love you so much and wish I could take away all the hurts and pain this last year has caused. Our family sounds like As The Stomach Turns......
I love you !!! :)
Mom

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Hi, Amy! On impulse, I followed a link from Debbie Davis' blog to you!! And I'm so glad I did!!! Your words and God's Word were inspiring!!! And your blog is beautiful! I'm sorry you've been sick, but glad that you are back to blogging...I'll be back to visit again! So glad I found you! ~Janine XO

Rilda Peel said...

Sending a Big [[[[[[[[[[ HUG ]]]]]]]]] full of healing love! You are worthy, valuable, special and loved by many. Enjoy yout time away from blogging. May all you do bring God's blessings to you for that is His plan for you, rilda *U*

Leslie Dean said...

Hi Amy--hope you are doing okay. The isolation is not good for you---or us. send me an email--I have something to share with you

Leslie Dean said...

Hi Amy--hope you are doing okay. The isolation is not good for you---or us. send me an email--I have something to share with you

Weeksie50 said...

Just stopping by..to see if you still blog.. a lot of my list has stopped.. I am not as faithful as I once was but I miss it..

Elley said...

Amy. We miss you. Please blog with us again? Sending warm wishes :)

Amy said...

Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement; I'm so thankful for each of you that God placed in my life. I pray you all have a blessed 2010!
In Christ,
Amy:0)

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Are you ever coming back to blogging? No pressure, but I'd love to know you're thinking about all of this. It's a question that's come up a lot in my spirit as of late, and I'm searching for some fresh breath in regards to my blogging.

If you have time, I'd love to know your thoughts. Hope you are well.

peace~elaine

Nishant said...

-hope you are doing okay. The isolation is not good for you---or us.
data entry work from home