I am writing a post today just to let you all know how I am doing.
But before I talk about me, I want to take a moment to thank each and everyone of you for your thoughts and your prayers. I am blown away at the way blogging friends rally together to lift someone up in prayer to the Lord. I feel like I am a member of the most amazing Christian Blogging Group in the world; what an honor!
My surgery went very well. Long story short (and in layman's terms) a piece of one of my discs about the size of your thumbnail had broken off and fallen down inside my spinal cavity, and it had landed on some nerves. And those nerves led down to my right foot, hence all of the pain.
My foot is much better now, but needless to say my back is hurting now from the incision.
I cannot sit up for very long, and just walking to the bathroom and brushing my teeth is very exhausting.
I ended up having to spend two nights in the hospital, because I was not at all ready to go home that first night. I was so sick at my stomach from all of the drugs, and trying to get up out of bed to use the bathroom was very painful.
On a lighter note, I got several compliments on my hair! Of course, I was heavily medicated when I received them, but I enjoyed them all the same, amen? :) I was glad to know that while I was wanting to throw up and begging for more pain medication, my hair was looking great! (Thanks, Melissa!) :)
You know the old saying, "When it rains, it pours"?
Well, it has been pouring for a while now at our home.
I don't say this to complain, or throw a pity party, but right now, we are really struggling.
The last year and half has been just one thing after another. We have been challenged emotionally, financially, physically, and spiritually.
When we returned home from the hospital Saturday, Shannon discovered that our living room television had died (for good), as well as our cordless phone, and right before bed that evening, he noticed that our basement floor was covered with water. Apparently the air conditioner was blocked up. (I don't know these terms, but you get the idea.) Shannon and Matthew sucked 10 gallons of water off of the basement floor. He finally got that fixed for the time being and was able to get some rest.
Monday Shannon took the day off of work again, because I still needed so much help. And he had to take our favorite baby girl, Allie, to the vet. She had been limping around, and we knew something was wrong. Well long story short, she needs surgery. But the vet will have to do an EKG to make sure that her heart is strong enough for surgery, because if it is not, he will not be able to operate on her. She has torn her ACL(I think is what Shannon said), similar to a common injury for football players.
Shannon will probably be taking her next week to have this procedure done, God willing.
Right now, I am physically still very weak, but emotionally, my heart is broken. I so badly want to curl up with her on her rest pad and love on her like I've always done, but because of my back, I can't. And she wants to get in bed and sleep with me like she's always done, but because of her knee she can't.
I feel so helpless right now, and my heart is broken. She is so special to our family, and here she is hurting, and I can't even help her.
I've cried out to God so much these last few days; and yesterday, He gave me a couple of verses.
Be angry and do not sin;
on your bed, reflect in your heart and be still.
Offer sacrifices in righteousness
and trust in the LORD.
I thought that it was so interesting that verse 4 says, "on your bed."
God speaks to us right where we are at, amen?
He also told me to, "be still." Orders from the Great Physician Himself.
Staying in bed and being still are not things that come naturally to me. But I am trying to follow God's and the doctor's orders. I know these orders are for my physical health, as well as my spiritual health.
And I am supposed to do these things while I trust in the LORD.
I do trust Him, however, I am just so overwhelmed right now, that sometimes I lose my focus.
Last year, while we were going through so many difficult situations, I became so frustrated and angry at God, that one day, I just cried out in anger at Him. I then opened my Bible, and this is what He said to me:
The LORD will fight for you while you keep silent.
Or as it says in the NIV:
The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.
I've noticed a pattern: God tells me to be quiet and to be still. He is fighting for me and my family; He does not need my help.
Thank you all again for you thoughts and prayers on my behalf. I have received many e-mails and cards in the mail. One card in particular, from Jenny, really touched me.
Jenny loves frogs. And, as most of you know, I do not. In Jenny's letter, she had drawn a picture of a frog, and over the frog were these words: "Fully Rely On God."
I guess now I will never look at frogs the same way again. Instead of being scared when I see one, I will now be reminded to rely on God, fully!
I'm sorry I have been unable to read any of your posts lately. I am still unable to sit up for very long. But, as soon as I am able, I will be catching up with all of you. Until then, thank you for your prayers and thoughtfulness.
Be still, and know that I am God.
P.S. I want to thank Matthew for typing most of this for me, because I am not able to sit up long enough to type it all.