Sunday, July 10, 2011

Who Is This?

I'm convinced that God always has a great deal of humor at my expense. Every day my life is one embarrassing situation after another. I guess that is why He gave me the ability to laugh at others myself. Repeatedly.

For example, one evening I was eating peanuts (the kind you have to shell) when someone knocked on our door. I answered the door. It was a good friend of my husband's. He needed some help with something and was telling me about it. Shannon was not home at the time, so I told him that I would give Shannon the message. He then asked how I was, and I, of course, told him. I noticed that as I was talking, he was looking at me....strangely.

I tried not to think much of it. After we said our goodbyes, I went inside to wash the peanut dust off of my hands. That's when I saw myself in the mirror. And realized what he was looking strangely at.

I had peanut skins all over my teeth. Every. Single. Tooth. Was. Covered. I looked like a hillbilly, and I was mortified.

That's just a Tuesday for me. But I digress.

This past Friday night, I noticed on my blog's Site Meter that someone had visited my blog after Googling the words "Poison Ivy to Cellulitis." I could not find the post that it led them to, so I figured it must have led them to a picture on my blog. I had written about The Heartbreak of Poison Ivy on here, and, of course, since two people wanted to see them due to overwhelming demand, I had also included pictures.

So, I entered those same words on a Google Image search. I did not see one of my poison ivy pictures, but I did see my good blog friend Mia's sweet face. You can click here to see her picture. (Hopefully, she'll still be there, as these things change daily.)

I got so tickled, because I remembered Mia had commented on my post The Heartbreak of Poison Ivy about how she had also had poison ivy and cellulitis, but not at the same time. So, since she left that comment, she is among the pictures of poison ivy and cellulitis that are now available on Google Images. (We bloggers have no shame.)

I decided to let Mia know she was "famous," so I sent her a link to it on Facebook. I also thought I had her correct cell phone number, so I decided to text her as well.

Here's the text message conversation...

Me: If you can get on fb, I just sent you a funny. :0)

Who I think is Mia: I am glad to hear from ya again mami.

(Now, Mia has never called me Mami before, but since it is pretty close to sounding like a funny way to say Amy, I didn't think too much of it. Plus it's Friday night, so she could just be having fun and in a silly mood.)

Me: I'm still laughing at what I sent you. You commented on my poison ivy post about cellulitis, so your pic comes up when you google that. Lol! You're famous!

Who I think is Mia: Lol great

(So, I'm assuming she knows what I'm talking about.)

Me: I can say I knew you when. :0) It's better than being known for Jennifer Aniston's feet. Lol!

Who I think is Mia: Hey Jennifer is fine now lol

(This should have been when I realized it wasn't Mia...but I didn't. It was Friday night after all.....)

Me: I bet she doesn't like my feet posing as hers on the world wide web. Especially with that hideous paint job. Lol!

If you don't know what picture I'm referring to, it's this one:

I hope you'll want to continue reading after that. If you do, thank you.

Who I think is Mia: Lol i cant see what u are talking about i jumped on fb where is it

(Now, seriously, the lack of capital letters and punctuation marks should have really made me question, but's Friday night.)

Me: I posted a link on your wall.
If link doesn't work, enter "poison ivy to cellulitis" on google images & you'll see yourself. Facebook & blogging is entirely too much fun. Lol!

Who I think is Mia: Speakin of fun nevermind lol

(Now it's getting weird...)

Me: Did you see it?

Who I think is Mia: Not yet where i am getting pour reception will be home in hour will pull up then so its ya feet on there mami

(It's getting weirder, and by this time...I realize it. But continue on, still not sure.....)

Me: Yes. In my naive blogging ignorance, I thought only 10 people would ever see that pic. I was mistaken. I'm sure J.A. wonders why people think it's her feet.;0)It's no longer the first one....but it's still front page. Lol! So embarrassing.

Who I think is Mia: Your gonna get sued lol

(The spelling and grammar are still causing me concern, but the joke seemed like something Mia would say, so I responded.)

Me: Lol! Ain't it the truth. I may be forced to sell my pool & box fan to pay my lawyers.

Who I think is Mia: Hey can ya get her autograph at trial lol tell her to put love ya ben lol

(At this point, I'm thinking -since it's Friday night and all- maybe Mia's confusing Jennifer Aniston with Jennifer Lopez and making a reference to the now infamous "Bennifer" combination, so I respond again.)

Me: Lol! That's a great idea! What would I have to lose? ;0)

Who I think is Mia: Plus be doing me a favor lol

Me: Well that is the most important thing. ;0)

Who I think is Mia: Glad u see it dat way its about time u sexy thing lol

(Now, this is when I realize...something is terribly wrong. I'm thinking there's no way that is Mia. Or if it is, she must have cough due to cold and taken a little too much cough medicine. But just in case, I ended the conversation. Or so I thought.) ;0)

Me: Happy Sabbath, my friend. :0)

(Mia loves the Sabbath day, and she always wishes everyone a Happy Sabbath on Facebook.)

Who I think is Mia: U r crazy So u are girly girl to ya say What are u doing

(I realize I am blonder than I pay to be a natural blond, but now, I know for sure it's not Mia.)

So, I don't respond to the last text, and I go to bed. A little confused to say the least.

When I wake up Saturday morning, I see I have another text from what my phone says is Mia.

Who I'm thinking again might be Mia: Morning

(So, not wanting to be rude, I respond.)

Me: Morning to you too! Happy Sabbath!!

Who I'm thinking again might be Mia: How r u today

(Again with the lack of spelling and punctuation.)

Me: Good. Fixing to fire up the Teenager Taxi & drive it across town & back & back again later. Lol! How are you?

Who I'm thinking again might be Mia: I am great had to come to office to finish up some paperwork today blah lol what teenager taxi are ya talkin about

Me: What office are you talking about?

Who I'm knowing is not Mia: My district office i am dm fo verizon oversee 9 locations thought we talked about it

Me: Is this Mia?

Stranger: Lol no who is this

Me: Lol! I'm so sorry. I have the wrong number. I thought your responses were strange for Mia. Lol! I'm just a silly blond girl with the wrong number.;0)

Stranger: This is ben u are amber right we were textin and talkin on fb

(Bless his heart.)

Me: No. I'm so sorry. Mass confusion. I thought you were my friend Mia. So sorry.

Who I know now is Ben: Its ok i see i am forgot dat quickly lol

(I think he understands that I am not Amber by this point. But he does not. About an hour later, I get this text...)

Ben: So how r ya today sounds like busy

(Bless his heart. He must really like this Amber.)

Me: Like I said...wrong person. I thought you were Mia. I have the wrong number.

(I think this will finally clear up all confusion. It doesn't.)

Ben: Its ok ya are amber right talkin to ya last night about jennifer aniston post u made

(Bless his heart. He must be blonder than he pays to be blond too.)

Me: No, I'm not Amber. I did talk about Jennifer post, but that was to Mia about my blog. Sorry for confusion, but I don't know who Amber is.

Ben: Lol ok enjoyed talkin to ya last nite even though we were both confused

He finally got it. And so did I. Lol!

Just another humiliating moment in my life.

I spent a Friday night texting with a boy (named Ben, who I thought was Mia and who thought I was a girl named Amber) about poison ivy, cellulitis, and my hideously painted feet being mistaken for Jennifer Aniston's on the world wide web.

But bless his heart, even after all that, he STILL wanted to talk to that girl.

You can't make this stuff up.

Amber, if you're reading this, there's boy named Ben who would apparently love you to text him.

And Mia, if you're reading this, please send me your new number, so I don't have to confuse that poor boy anymore...teasing him with all that romantic talk of poison ivy, cellulitis, and Jennifer Aniston's feet. ;0)


Mia said...!!!!!!!!!
When you said you accidently text the wrong person I thought maybe a text or two...but NOOO! not Amy. She lives a life of adventure..she takes the ordinary and makes it extreme! YOU...ARE...MY...HERO!!
Love you and I knew your return to the blog world would get us all into trouble!!!

Kim said...

Amy, you are a true gem! I really do like you so much. LOL That was priceless!

Amy said...

Mia, you know me, never one do anything half way. ;0) Love you too.

And Kim, thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind words.

Denise said...

HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!
Oh, Amy . . . .
:D said...

That was hysterical!!! You are so funny, baby girl! I love you!

janjanmom said...

I never knew just how famous Mia was!!

Peanut skins...too funny!!

I'm glad you laugh at yourself as much as we get to when you relive it here. ( ;

Sondre Lyn said...

Shut the front door! That is unbelievable! More proof that truth is MUCH stranger than fiction! :D

Dick said...

Your feet are pretty, too. Jennifer is jealous. Lol.

Dick said...

What I would really like to know is how you accomplished that "feat".