This is my corn!

I want to apologize because this is probably the longest post in history. I tried to do it in one million one hundred words or less, but it didn't work out that way. You are probably asking yourself how many words does she need to talk about corn? Well, grab a cup of coffee and a slice of humble pie, and sit tight. You are invited to join me in my cornfield and find out the answer to that very question.:)

My Human behavior is an interesting subject to me.
So much time is wasted in my our lives being angry at God about the things I we don't like. Things I we don't understand. Things that don't seem fair!

God has given me the spiritual gift of gab! He wired me for sound. I love to share with any one who will listen others the things I have learned about God in my life. That being said, I always look like an idiot in my stories. Everything I share makes me seem dense, but I share it anyway. God gets the glory, as He should. He works in my life time and time again, despite all the dumb things I do.

The story I am going to share with you today is no exception. I look dumb. God gets the glory, and I eat another slice of humble pie.:)

In February of 2003 my world was shattered. I thought my marriage was over. I was devastated. As a wife, I was worn out. I had done everything I knew to do, but it just wasn't enough.

The kids and I attended church every Sunday, without Shannon. He was never interested in going with us. I spent time teaching both boys about God. I went to Bible studies. I wasn't perfect, obviously, but I put a lot of effort in my relationship with the Lord. I longed for Shannon to have a relationship with Him also, but at the time, that seemed very unlikely to ever happen.

When my world was seemingly falling apart, I was mad at God. I didn't understand why He was letting this happen. I was trying so hard to do all the right things as a wife and a mother, but none of it seemed to matter. I was devastated. I was frustrated. I felt like giving up. But, those of you who know me, know I am stubborn (another spiritual gift, I think). I do not give up on things easily.

So, I stayed. I fought it out. I fought with God. I fought with Shannon. I had to get up each day and keep fighting for my faith. It was a struggle. But God was in my corner. He gave me rest. He gave me hope. He gave me peace. He gave me His Word. He was faithful to me. With God in my corner, I won the fight! My marriage was restored. It was a long way from perfect, but it was a new beginning.

God not only changed me and my heart, He changed Shannon too. He gave Shannon a new beginning. He tugged at Shannon's heart. Shannon became a new person with Christ in his life. During the difficult time of healing from all my emotional pain, God gave me this verse to remind me Shannon was different now. I was different now. Our marriage was different now. It was new because Christ was the center of our lives.

2 Corinthians 5:17
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

I put this verse on my refrigerator. I said it out loud more times than I can count. On my difficult days of struggling with old hurts, I had to remind myself of these words. We are new creations. We are not who we used to be. God has changed us!

It's funny how I always dreamed of Shannon having a relationship with God. I longed for him to be the spiritual leader of our family. But, you know that old saying Be careful for what you wish for, you just might get it ? Getting what I had always wanted took some getting used to.....

Don't get me wrong, I was thrilled with the changes that were happening in my home and in my marriage. Like I've said before, earlier in my marriage, I was the only one taking the kids to church. I was the only one developing a relationship with God. Shannon had no interest in either. Anyway, I wasn't prepared for what happened on a particular morning at church.

Several months into our healing process, Shannon had written a letter to the church. Our church was going through a difficult period as well, so he wrote it to encourage the staff, but he was also pouring his heart out to God. So several weeks after he had written the letter, we arrived at church, and were greeted by several people patting Shannon on the back, saying, "I loved what you wrote!"...."Amazing letter!"....."Nice job!"..."Can I have your autograph?"...You get the point...


Click on the picture to enlarge the passage.

Suddenly this man, who in the past never even went to church, was a Christian Rock star! It really irritated me. Nobody ever congratulated me on fighting for my marriage. For hanging in there through the tough times. For dragging the boys to church ALL BY MYSELF for years. For not giving up on him. I know, I know, it sounds selfish. That's because it was.:) I'm very human that way. I didn't do any of the things I mentioned for applause, but come on. He's been doing the right things now for a few months, writes one letter, they publish it, and now everyone is sooooo proud of him! It was irritating!

Shannon, needless to say, was quite hurt by my reaction to all of this. He thought I would be proud of him, and I was. But.......my heart was screaming, "What about me, God?... Have You forgotten me?" I tried explaining this to Shannon, but there's no good way to explain selfish hurts. :) I just felt like he was getting praised, and I was left out. I had fought so hard to stay faithful to God and to my marriage vows, but all of that went unnoticed. I know that God noticed it, but it didn't seem fair that Shannon got so much praise, while I sat in the background alone. I thought, "Why, God?"

I warned you all earlier that I never look good in my stories.......I bet you believe me now, huh?:)

Not long after this incident happened, Shannon and I saw the movie Field of Dreams. If you haven't seen it yet, do. It is wonderful!
There is a particular scene in the movie though that is my favorite.
If you've seen the movie this will make sense to you, if not, I apologize.

Here's a quick synopsis of the movie I found on the Internet written by Scott Renshaw.
Iowa farmer Ray Kinsella hears a voice in his corn field tell him, "If you build it, he will come." He interprets this message as an instruction to build a baseball field on his farm, upon which appear the ghosts of Shoeless Joe Jackson and the other seven Chicago White Sox players banned from the game for throwing the 1919 World Series. When the voices continue, Ray seeks out a reclusive author to help him understand the meaning of the messages and the purpose for his field.

To add just a little bit more, the author, Terence Mann, gets invited to join the players in Ray's cornfield...Ray wants to go, but he is told that he is not invited.
He can't believe his ears.... "Not invited?" he says...
Hear is just a short part of that wonderful scene:



Ray Kinsella: This is my corn. You people are guests in my corn.

Ray Kinsella: I did it all. I listened to the voices, I did what they told me, and not once did I ask what's in it for me.
Shoeless Joe Jackson: What are you saying, Ray?
Ray Kinsella: I'm saying? what's in it for me?

Terence Mann: Ray, there was a reason they chose me, just as there was a reason they chose you and this field.
Ray Kinsella: Why?

Why? Isn't that what we always ask God?...Why?...Why me? Why now? Why do I have to go through this?
Never before in my life have I ever identified with anyone in a movie more than I did that one.

Ray summed up all my frustrations with one word...Why?

I felt like Shannon was in my (spiritual) corn. The corn I had planted! When he was getting all the applause in my corn at church, it felt like people were saying to me, "You're not invited!"

After seeing that scene in the movie, Shannon got tears in his eyes. He finally understood what I meant. I wasn't trying to behave selfishly. I was just hurt and confused trying to understand my role in the whole situation. What was the purpose for me going through all this. Did my part count? Did my effort matter? Why, why, why?

When all was said and done, Ray Kinsella found out the answer to his question, "Why?"
Needless to say, the answer was more than he could ever had hoped for. But, in case you still haven't seen the movie, I don't want to spoil the ending.

Looking back now, I know my part mattered. I know my walk with God mattered. My faith mattered. Shannon has told me that my faith in God and my walk with God were the examples that made him desire God in his own life.

1 Peter 3:1-2
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

That's an awesome role to have.....and funnily enough, I didn't even know I had the part. But God did. God used me despite my own selfishness.

Galatians 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Everything that we do in obedience to God matters, even if we don't understand it, or even see it at the time. God is always working the things in our lives for our good.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Just because other people get the applause sometimes doesn't mean that God has forgotten about us. Our time of understanding will come, in God's timing, not ours.

1 Peter 5:6
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.

Well, my coffee is cold, and my humble pie is all gone (until God serves up my next slice). I guess this is finally the end of my post today. Thanks for being a guest in my corn.

(I was encouraged to tell this story after I read a post on Laura's blog called "The Wellblog." She shares a story about what happened when her dream of her husband knowing God came true. Click here to read her story. It is very moving.)

God Bless,
Amy:)

Bible Study About The Woman With The Issue Of Blood

This week's woman in my devotional study is "The Woman with the Issue of Blood."

There is probably not a woman on the face of the earth who does not identify with this woman on some level.

This is her story as found in the book of Mark.

Mark 5:24-34
So Jesus went with him. A large crowd followed and pressed around him.
And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years.
She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse.
When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed."
Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.
At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who touched my clothes?"
"You see the people crowding against you," his disciples answered, "and yet you can ask, 'Who touched me?'"
But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it.
Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth.
He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

Having to deal with the issue of blood once every month is enough for me (not to mention my family); this woman had to deal with it every day for twelve years.

Here's what the Bible says about a woman and her monthly period during that time in history.

Leviticus 15:19
When a woman has her regular flow of blood, the impurity of her monthly period will last seven days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean till evening.

Here's what the Bible says about a woman who bleeds at a time other than her period during this same time in history.

Leviticus 15:25-27
"'When a woman has a discharge of blood for many days at a time other than her monthly period or has a discharge that continues beyond her period, she will be unclean as long as she has the discharge, just as in the days of her period.
Any bed she lies on while her discharge continues will be unclean, as is her bed during her monthly period, and anything she sits on will be unclean, as during her period.
Whoever touches them will be unclean; he must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening.

I cannot even imagine the physical and mental anguish that this poor woman must have felt. Twelve years enduring what must of been physically and mentally heart breaking pain. She must have been so pale and exhausted from the constant loss of blood.

The loneliness must have been devastating as well. The lack of human contact for twelve years is hard to comprehend. No hugs. No kisses. Not even a handshake to greet you. Just isolation. Rejection. Shame. Loneliness.

I know when it is my time of month, I am probably not the most pleasant person to be around, but I can still be around people. I can hug my husband and my children. I can still go to church and greet friends with a hug or a handshake. I can sit in the same chairs as others without fear or shame. I don't have to worry about others being unclean just by brushing up against me in a crowded hallway.

But this woman had to deal with all these issues and many more every day of her life for twelve years.

So by the time we are introduced to her in the book of Mark, she must have been just at the absolute end of her rope. When we find her heading for Jesus, she is desperate for relief from her suffering.

This woman was broken mentally, physically, and financially. She had been to all the doctors she could find, and she had spent all of her money hoping they would heal her, but they never did. She had exhausted all her options.

Except one.

She risked everything as she thought to herself, "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed." Just imagine what would have happened if the people in the crowd knew who she was and knew about her issue of blood. She had to have wondered about those things, but she did not let the fear of being "found out" stop her. She kept her eyes on Jesus.

She still had faith.

So many times in life we find that when every thing else is gone..... only faith remains. Faith is ultimately all we need.

And Jesus said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

Imagine how different her life would have turned out had she not had that faith and acted on it. I wonder myself how many blessings I have not received in my own life, because I didn't have the kind of faith that she had as she approached Jesus. I want that kind of faith in my life. And I don't just want to believe in that "faith".....I want to act in that "faith."

At the end of this week's devotional study the authors give a prayer challenge to all of us as women of faith. They say each night before bed remind yourself of your need for faith in your life. If you feel your faith starting to fade, ask God to take the little faith you have and fan it to a flame. Light a candle (just remember to blow out your candle before going to sleep) as a reminder of this need and say this prayer.

Father, forgive my little faith
Make it big
Reduce my ego
Make it small
Give me a chance
To touch you and be touched
No matter how foolish
No matter how frightened
No matter how strange I feel
Fan my small spark into a brightness
Lighting the way ahead
Amen.

Pray this prayer like you mean it.

God honors faithfulness.

Hebrews 11:1-2
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.

Faith is what pleases God.

Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

Try remembering the testimony of faith that "The Woman with the Issue of Blood" has the next time you are at the end of your spiritual rope. The same God that healed her, wants to heal you. Will you believe in Him for that healing?

I have another clip here from You Tube. If you have the time and would like to listen to it, it is a monologue about "The Woman with the Issue of Blood." It is powerful, and it touches on all of the aspects of this woman's story.



Psalms 30:2
O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.

Unique

Today's post is about uniqueness. God created each and every one of us in His own image, and He said that what He saw was "Good!" That being said, why is it that I struggle so much with the way God made me? One of my worst faults, and there are many, is comparing myself to others. I can see so much good in everyone else, but I am so hard on myself. I see other Christian's strengths so clearly, but when I look in my own mirror, I see so much weakness.

I have so many friends that I admire. I admire how they get out of the boat and stand with Jesus in the most frightening of storms. Storms that I know would leave me hanging on for dear life to the side of the boat.

I hear people speak and share their testimony, and I say to myself,"I want to walk like that with the Lord."....I will sometimes look for God to show Himself to me like He does to others that I admire......but He doesn't.....because I am not those people. As much as I admire them, I am not like them. I am like me. God made me (like it or not) how I am. Unique. Not like anybody else. So for me to try to imitate someone else's walk is pointless, because God designed me to walk a different way.

I once took a class that taught about Moses. Often you will hear people say, "I wish God would send me a burning bush!":) But think about it for a minute, if He did, what would you do? Would you tell ANYBODY about it?....:) I probably wouldn't either.:)
You know even Moses had to have been caught off guard by the whole thing. He didn't sit there and think for a minute and slap himself on the head and say,"Oh! This is my burning bush experience like Adam had!" :) He couldn't, because no one had ever had an experience with God like that before. It was unique. Designed just for Moses. God speaks to all of us in a different way, because He created us to be different. We each have our own unique relationship with our Creator.

Psalm 139:13-14
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my
mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully
and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

So now each day, I am trying to embrace my own personality a little more. I am trying to figure out what God wants me to do with the abilities and strengths He has given me. I am going to try to stop comparing my weaknesses to other people's strengths. God made me to be Amy. Not anybody else. I'm so grateful that He loves me just like I am......... a work in progress.:)

Noah and his wife

The story of Noah and his wife is one of the most touching stories to me in the Bible. It is so hard to imagine the amount of faith they both had to follow through on every single thing God asked them to do.

When we step out in faith with God, it seems to always make us look like "fools" to the world. Imagine today if your neighbor was building an ark and warning every passerby of the impending flood, what would you think?......

I know some of the things God has called me to do, did not make me seem like the smartest student in the class.:) But during those difficult times of waiting on God to show up, I did have the encouragement of other Christians. Noah and his wife did not even have that. Noah's wife couldn't go to her weekly Bible study to get encouragement from her peers. They "all" thought her husband was crazy! Noah spent about 120 years building that ark!..120 years! None of us will ever have to wait on God that long for a promise to come to pass. It is so hard for me to imagine the amount of faithfulness it took to continue what God had called them to do. But they did it!

Most of us have been familiar with the story of Noah and the Ark our whole lives. As a child I mostly remember animals two by two, the ark, and of course the rainbow, but as an adult trying to follow the Lord in my own life, the story has taken on new meaning.

As a wife, I have been through some struggles in my own marriage. Times of testing that were hard. But nothing even close to what Noah's wife was called to do. She stood by her man and trusted God even when everyone and everything seemed to be against her. For 120 years! When I am going through tough times, I often remind myself of that story. At least I won't have to wait 120 years for God to fulfill His promise to me.:) Amen!

It helps me to be reminded sometimes that the people that I read about in the Bible are not "characters." They were flesh and blood people just like me. Noah hadn't built an ark before. He wasn't a master ship builder. He was just a man who loved the Lord, and He was willing to risk everything in order to follow Him. God is the same today as He was in Noah's day. I have been told many times "God doesn't call the equipped; He equips the called." We, like Noah and his wife, just need to be willing to follow Him where He leads us.

Recently my husband and I watched the movie Evan Almighty. We enjoyed it so much. I'm showing you this clip...as you watch it, put yourself in their shoes. Imagine what you would do if God called you to do the same thing as "Evan" and his family.
Enjoy!:)