Nuclear Waste

My last few posts have been a little sad due to all that is going on in my life right now, but today I just want to share a funny and completely somewhat embarrassing story with you.

When the boys were much smaller Shannon could never understand my need to take them to the doctor for every major little illness. I guess it's probably fair to say he thought I over-reacted to their illnesses a lot just a tiny bit.

That's why what I'm about to tell you is kind of funny, in a gross kind of way. (So, I want to apologize to you in advance. Sorry.)

When Matthew was still little enough to need help in the bathroom, he would call for me when he was done. Always me, never Shannon. He didn't want his dad to see him in this particular situation. Ever.

But, one day when Matthew called for me to come in the bathroom to help him finish up, I was quite alarmed at what I saw. So alarmed that I called Shannon to come in there with us. Shannon was needless to say, less than enthusiastic about coming in the bathroom to look at something. Matthew was not happy about it either.

When I finally convinced Shannon that he needed to um.....hurry up, he finally came in the bathroom to see what I was talking about.

As I just told you before, he always thought that I over-reacted a lot little bit to issues regarding the children's health. So his reaction to what he saw in the bathroom, surprised me.



He looked at me very seriously and said, "You need to call the doctor. That is not normal. Something must be wrong with him!"

I, of course, did not want to be the one to have to call the doctor and ask what it could be, much less explain what it looked like.

But, I did make the phone call, because if Shannon was concerned about it there was probably something seriously wrong.

So, I called the doctor and it went something like this.

Doctor: "How can I help you today?"

Me: (Not even knowing how to begin) "Um..........My son just used the bathroom a few minutes ago, and um...........what came out of him is, um......... fluorescent green. My husband is concerned it might be some form of, um....... nuclear waste. Have you ever heard of anything like this before?"

Doctor: laughter

Doctor: more laughter

Me: "Doctor, are you still there?"

Doctor: "Yes, I'm here."

Doctor: more laughter

Doctor: (Finally having composed himself) "Has Matthew been drinking grape Kool-aid or eating grape Popsicles?"

Me: (Feeling sure this man must be psychic) "Yes, sir, he has."

Doctor: "That's the problem then. Grape flavored drinks and Popsicles turn the bowel movements fluorescent green. Give him a different flavor from now on and his bowel movements will look normal again."

Me: (Mortified) "Oh, okay. What a relief! Thank you for making me feel like an idiot your help."

Doctor: more laughter

After I hung up the phone from that humiliating informative phone call, I looked at Shannon and said, "Well, I think this time you may have over-reacted a lot tiny bit!"

Bible Study About The Woman With The Issue Of Blood

This week's woman in my devotional study is "The Woman with the Issue of Blood."

There is probably not a woman on the face of the earth who does not identify with this woman on some level.

This is her story as found in the book of Mark.

Mark 5:24-34
So Jesus went with him. A large crowd followed and pressed around him.
And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years.
She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse.
When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed."
Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.
At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who touched my clothes?"
"You see the people crowding against you," his disciples answered, "and yet you can ask, 'Who touched me?'"
But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it.
Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth.
He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

Having to deal with the issue of blood once every month is enough for me (not to mention my family); this woman had to deal with it every day for twelve years.

Here's what the Bible says about a woman and her monthly period during that time in history.

Leviticus 15:19
When a woman has her regular flow of blood, the impurity of her monthly period will last seven days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean till evening.

Here's what the Bible says about a woman who bleeds at a time other than her period during this same time in history.

Leviticus 15:25-27
"'When a woman has a discharge of blood for many days at a time other than her monthly period or has a discharge that continues beyond her period, she will be unclean as long as she has the discharge, just as in the days of her period.
Any bed she lies on while her discharge continues will be unclean, as is her bed during her monthly period, and anything she sits on will be unclean, as during her period.
Whoever touches them will be unclean; he must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening.

I cannot even imagine the physical and mental anguish that this poor woman must have felt. Twelve years enduring what must of been physically and mentally heart breaking pain. She must have been so pale and exhausted from the constant loss of blood.

The loneliness must have been devastating as well. The lack of human contact for twelve years is hard to comprehend. No hugs. No kisses. Not even a handshake to greet you. Just isolation. Rejection. Shame. Loneliness.

I know when it is my time of month, I am probably not the most pleasant person to be around, but I can still be around people. I can hug my husband and my children. I can still go to church and greet friends with a hug or a handshake. I can sit in the same chairs as others without fear or shame. I don't have to worry about others being unclean just by brushing up against me in a crowded hallway.

But this woman had to deal with all these issues and many more every day of her life for twelve years.

So by the time we are introduced to her in the book of Mark, she must have been just at the absolute end of her rope. When we find her heading for Jesus, she is desperate for relief from her suffering.

This woman was broken mentally, physically, and financially. She had been to all the doctors she could find, and she had spent all of her money hoping they would heal her, but they never did. She had exhausted all her options.

Except one.

She risked everything as she thought to herself, "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed." Just imagine what would have happened if the people in the crowd knew who she was and knew about her issue of blood. She had to have wondered about those things, but she did not let the fear of being "found out" stop her. She kept her eyes on Jesus.

She still had faith.

So many times in life we find that when every thing else is gone..... only faith remains. Faith is ultimately all we need.

And Jesus said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

Imagine how different her life would have turned out had she not had that faith and acted on it. I wonder myself how many blessings I have not received in my own life, because I didn't have the kind of faith that she had as she approached Jesus. I want that kind of faith in my life. And I don't just want to believe in that "faith".....I want to act in that "faith."

At the end of this week's devotional study the authors give a prayer challenge to all of us as women of faith. They say each night before bed remind yourself of your need for faith in your life. If you feel your faith starting to fade, ask God to take the little faith you have and fan it to a flame. Light a candle (just remember to blow out your candle before going to sleep) as a reminder of this need and say this prayer.

Father, forgive my little faith
Make it big
Reduce my ego
Make it small
Give me a chance
To touch you and be touched
No matter how foolish
No matter how frightened
No matter how strange I feel
Fan my small spark into a brightness
Lighting the way ahead
Amen.

Pray this prayer like you mean it.

God honors faithfulness.

Hebrews 11:1-2
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.

Faith is what pleases God.

Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

Try remembering the testimony of faith that "The Woman with the Issue of Blood" has the next time you are at the end of your spiritual rope. The same God that healed her, wants to heal you. Will you believe in Him for that healing?

I have another clip here from You Tube. If you have the time and would like to listen to it, it is a monologue about "The Woman with the Issue of Blood." It is powerful, and it touches on all of the aspects of this woman's story.



Psalms 30:2
O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.

PMS......AGAIN?

*I have mentioned before that every 28 days sometimes I have a little trouble with PMS, and I can have a lot some days that I just simply struggle with my emotions.

I know, I know, it's hard to believe, but it's true.

During my bouts with PMS, if my husband isn't spending all of his time trying to lay low avoid me, he is spending it asking me questions that irritate me I cannot ever imagine asking a hormonal sensitive woman.

I'll give you eleven a few examples:

1. What did you make me for dinner?
2. Why are you crying?
3. Is it something I said?
4. Oh, man, is it that time of month again?
5. How can you have your period every week?
6. Why are you crying now?
7. Do you want me to leave you alone?
8. Is there something I can do to "fix" it for you, honey?
9. Do you want me to yell at the kids?
10. Do you need a hug?

Or my personal favorite:

11. Isn't there a pill you can take for it?

I know that he is probably scared of me means well, and in his defense it wouldn't really matter what dumb things he did or said, he would still irritate me.

I recently went to the doctor for a check up, and I asked him about it, and he was just full of it himself wisdom and helpful information.......

It went something like this.

Me: "Doctor, lately I have been having a difficult time with pre-menstrual syndrome.
Since I turned thirty-five, all of my symptoms have seemed to be getting worse and worse with each month that passes."

Doctor: He looked at me very seriously and said, "Once a woman hits thirty-five, pre-menstrual symptoms tend to just get worse and worse with each month that passes."

(I'm really so glad he told me; I just simply had no idea! He really cleared up a lot of my confusion on the subject of PMS. If you also are suffering from PMS, I hope that this information can help you as well.)

Just think, he went through years of medical school to obtain all of that knowledge and wisdom. Impressive.

My poor sweet husband usually never sees it coming either. Numerous times He has suggested that I wear a scarlet letter "P" on my shirt as a warning signal, but I really don't think that is necessary. (Men are so sensitive sometimes.)

But on second thought, maybe a warning sign isn't such a stupid bad idea.



*The people mentioned in this post are fictional. Any resemblance to real people, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The events mentioned are also a very creative and imaginative work of fiction, and are of no reflection of the author of this post. She would never act moody or emotional around her husband. Ever. Really. She wouldn't. He always loves to be around her due to her consistently charming and delightful personality.