Thursday, November 20, 2008
Three Kinds Of Men
I have recently been rereading a book called Created To Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl. (Click here if you would like to learn more about this book.)
This book has been an amazing help to me in my own marriage. It is a controversial book. Not because it doesn't speak Biblical truth, but because it does. It speaks truths that make a lot of people uncomfortable, and most of the truths go directly against what "modern" day society teaches us.
Whether you have a good marriage that you would like to make great, or if you have a bad marriage that you would like to make better, this book is for you. But, I warn you, only get this book if you are ready to hear what God's Word says about you and your role in your marriage; it's challenging, but it's true.
There is no possible way to cover all of the topics in this book, but there is one section in particular that I would love to share with you all.
The information is found in Chapter 8 of the book, which is titled, "Wisdom to Understand Your Man."
(Any words in bold are direct quotes from the book.)
Debi Pearl starts out this chapter talking about the differences in men and their personalities. Differences, that she points out, that are just as evident in one year old boys as they are in adult men.
She says that most girls wake up one day and realize that they have gotten a "lemon" for a husband, so to speak. And rather than adapting to him, most girls usually spend the rest of their marriage trying to change him into the man that they think he ought to be.
Her suggestion though, is not to try to change him, but to ask God for wisdom.
Wisdom is knowing what you "bought" when you married that man, and learning to adapt to him as he is, not as you want him to be.
No two men are alike, just as no two women are alike. Even though we may be tempted to, we cannot expect our man to be just like our father, our brother, or like Leonardo DiCaprio's character "Jack" in the romantic movie Titanic.
Our husbands are created in the image of God, and it takes all kinds of men to even come close to completing that image. No man is a perfect balance; if he were, he would be too divine to need you.
God gives imperfect women to imperfect men so they can be heirs together of the grace of life and become something more together than either one of them would ever be alone.
Today I will be sharing with you (very briefly) what Debi Pearl refers to as the Three Kinds of Men.
The three types of men are all representative of the three traits of God's personality. God is dominant- a sovereign and all-powerful God. He is also a visionary- omniscient and desirous of carrying out his plans. And, God is steady- the same yesterday, and today, and forever, our faithful High Priest. Most men epitomize one of these three aspects of God.
As Debi Pearl explains in her book, the more you learn to understand the personality that God designed your husband with, the more you will be equipped to be the wife that God intended you to be. You were created to be your husband's help meet.
She gives names to the three types of men, and since I am a very visual learner, I am attaching pictures of well known men just to give you an idea of what she is meaning.
The first type of man that she speaks about is called Mr. Command Man. Regardless of any political opinions that you may have, John McCain is an example of a Command Man.
Command Men are born leaders. They are often chosen by other men to be military commanders, politicians, preachers and heads of corporations.
The second type of man that is mentioned is referred to as Mr. Visionary. A great example of visionary men that she gives in the book is the Wright Brothers.
Debi says that visionaries are often gifted men or inventors. They are the men that keep the rest of the world from getting stagnant or dull.
And last, but certainly not least, is the third type of man, and he is referred to as Mr. Steady. As I was reading about Mr. Steady, I immediately had the image of John Walton Sr. (the daddy on The Waltons television show) pop into my mind.
The Steady Man does not make snap decisions or spend his last dime on a new idea , and he doesn't try to tell other people what to do. He avoids controversy. As a general rule, he will be faithful till the day he dies in the same bed he has slept in for the last 40 or 50 years. This man is content with the wife of his youth.
Of course, there is much more said about each of the types of men in this book, but you will have to read it for yourself to fully understand what I am trying to say.
Most men are made up of a little bit of all of the character traits that I just described to you, but most men will tend to be much more dominant in one.
My hope for sharing this information is to encourage you to read this book, and I pray that it will help you (as well as me) to appreciate your husband for who God designed him to be. Learning the type of husband you are married to will help you to also learn how to be the wife that he needs you to be. And like I said earlier, keep an open mind when reading this book. So much of what Scripture tells us, goes directly against what "society" teaches us. That's why, to some, the information in this book is not easy to swallow, but I promise you, that if you read this book, and listen to God, you will walk away changed. Changed for the better.
Ask God to give you wisdom to see where you need to change to be the perfect help meet for your divinely designed man.
"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him....
And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man."