Thursday, November 20, 2008

Three Kinds Of Men

I have recently been rereading a book called Created To Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl. (Click here if you would like to learn more about this book.)

This book has been an amazing help to me in my own marriage. It is a controversial book. Not because it doesn't speak Biblical truth, but because it does. It speaks truths that make a lot of people uncomfortable, and most of the truths go directly against what "modern" day society teaches us.

Whether you have a good marriage that you would like to make great, or if you have a bad marriage that you would like to make better, this book is for you. But, I warn you, only get this book if you are ready to hear what God's Word says about you and your role in your marriage; it's challenging, but it's true.

There is no possible way to cover all of the topics in this book, but there is one section in particular that I would love to share with you all.

The information is found in Chapter 8 of the book, which is titled, "Wisdom to Understand Your Man."

(Any words in bold are direct quotes from the book.)

Debi Pearl starts out this chapter talking about the differences in men and their personalities. Differences, that she points out, that are just as evident in one year old boys as they are in adult men.

She says that most girls wake up one day and realize that they have gotten a "lemon" for a husband, so to speak. And rather than adapting to him, most girls usually spend the rest of their marriage trying to change him into the man that they think he ought to be.

Her suggestion though, is not to try to change him, but to ask God for wisdom.

Wisdom is knowing what you "bought" when you married that man, and learning to adapt to him as he is, not as you want him to be.

No two men are alike, just as no two women are alike. Even though we may be tempted to, we cannot expect our man to be just like our father, our brother, or like Leonardo DiCaprio's character "Jack" in the romantic movie Titanic.


Our husbands are created in the image of God, and it takes all kinds of men to even come close to completing that image. No man is a perfect balance; if he were, he would be too divine to need you.

God gives imperfect women to imperfect men so they can be heirs together of the grace of life and become something more together than either one of them would ever be alone.

Today I will be sharing with you (very briefly) what Debi Pearl refers to as the Three Kinds of Men.

The three types of men are all representative of the three traits of God's personality. God is dominant- a sovereign and all-powerful God. He is also a visionary- omniscient and desirous of carrying out his plans. And, God is steady- the same yesterday, and today, and forever, our faithful High Priest. Most men epitomize one of these three aspects of God.

As Debi Pearl explains in her book, the more you learn to understand the personality that God designed your husband with, the more you will be equipped to be the wife that God intended you to be. You were created to be your husband's help meet.

She gives names to the three types of men, and since I am a very visual learner, I am attaching pictures of well known men just to give you an idea of what she is meaning.

The first type of man that she speaks about is called Mr. Command Man. Regardless of any political opinions that you may have, John McCain is an example of a Command Man.

Command Men are born leaders. They are often chosen by other men to be military commanders, politicians, preachers and heads of corporations.

The second type of man that is mentioned is referred to as Mr. Visionary. A great example of visionary men that she gives in the book is the Wright Brothers.

Debi says that visionaries are often gifted men or inventors. They are the men that keep the rest of the world from getting stagnant or dull.

And last, but certainly not least, is the third type of man, and he is referred to as Mr. Steady. As I was reading about Mr. Steady, I immediately had the image of John Walton Sr. (the daddy on The Waltons television show) pop into my mind.

The Steady Man does not make snap decisions or spend his last dime on a new idea , and he doesn't try to tell other people what to do. He avoids controversy. As a general rule, he will be faithful till the day he dies in the same bed he has slept in for the last 40 or 50 years. This man is content with the wife of his youth.


Of course, there is much more said about each of the types of men in this book, but you will have to read it for yourself to fully understand what I am trying to say.

Most men are made up of a little bit of all of the character traits that I just described to you, but most men will tend to be much more dominant in one.

My hope for sharing this information is to encourage you to read this book, and I pray that it will help you (as well as me) to appreciate your husband for who God designed him to be. Learning the type of husband you are married to will help you to also learn how to be the wife that he needs you to be. And like I said earlier, keep an open mind when reading this book. So much of what Scripture tells us, goes directly against what "society" teaches us. That's why, to some, the information in this book is not easy to swallow, but I promise you, that if you read this book, and listen to God, you will walk away changed. Changed for the better.

Ask God to give you wisdom to see where you need to change to be the perfect help meet for your divinely designed man.

Genesis 2:18,21-22
"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him....
And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man."


Tracey said...

Thanks for the recommendation. I'll put it on my list!

"Just Me - NC Beth" said...

Wow! Good Stuff!

My hubby is a "Mr. Steady" hands daddy was a "Mr. Command Man"....He was an awesome pastor and could walk into a room and immediately everyone knew it, very authorative, and in control, the decision maker...but well respected and looked up to for his wisdom (which he was so wise...and a visionary, too!)

I think all these years I have wanted hubby to be more like my daddy....because, hey! "steady" seems so "blah" (I know, I'm terrible!!)

Thank you, thank you, for sharing this!

(I found you through Valerie's Blog).


Glamorous Life of a House Wife said...

Nice. I love the message the book displays! And your visuals crack me up.

Jamie @ Purposeful Pursuit said...

I always smile at your visuals. You crack me up! Sounds like some good, thought-provoking stuff.

much2ponder said...

I would hope men and women alike would consider what they bring to add to the other; giveing room for one another to grow and flourish in a relationship that allows each to become the person they were created to be. So often we think we know what the other needs or how they should behave, when in reality we are simply to love and make room for one another and allow the Lord to continue his work. We each bring something to the table that is necessary for the other. :)

Dianne said...

Once again, such an excellent post. I love your 'truth' posts.

Now dahlink, I wont be gone for a couple days yet, so I will still be visitng you.

But I promise to take loads of pics and wont make you wait too long to see them either. I'm going to East London, not the bush.


The Pink Potpourri said...

GREAT post! i absolutely love this book. my mom gave it to me after i got married. she sends it to many women as gifts. it is a terrific resource!

Gina said...

That is so funny....I am reading this book right now too!! I have not got to the part about the 3 different kinds of men, so thanks for the sneak preview. :)

God bless,

Pleasant Drive said...

great post. good insight.

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Putting this one on the list!!

You always find a way to crack me up!!


Laura said...

Beloved :),

My have I learned some of these lessons you speak of first hand! This sounds like a wonderful book. I'll put it on my list (it's getting rather long). I can always do with a little wisdom when it comes to my man and my marriage!

Love you, Amy.


p.s. I forgot to tell you how absolutely adorable Allie girl is in your last post.:)

LynnSC said...

Amy... I, too, have read parts of this book. It is a life changing read. I don't claim to practice as much of it as I should... but between it and another book called the Excellent Wife... my views on being a wife dramatically changed. I am sure that my husband would agree.

I am glad that you brought it up... I need to find it and read it again. Thanks so much,

Lelia Chealey said...

HI Amy!
I will have to check this out. I'm doing Love Dare right now from the movie Fireproof. That is HARD!!!!

Hey, Gene is fused! PTL!!! He returns to work next week hopefully, but may be December,but he is going back.

Thanks for all of your prayers and support. I think of you are you doing?

Love ya,

Mia said...

I love,love this book. Think how different the world would be if everyone took the Biblical counsel about families!!!
Have a great weekend my dear!

Pamela (MrsJoeB) said...

I am married to Mr Steady and I love that about him...He's a leader too. He may be imperfect (not as much as I am) and I wouldn't trade him for anything...sigh....I am blessed. I will have to try out this book!

In His Graces~Pamela

Smiling Shelly said...

Sounds insightful. Thanks for sharing...I wonder if they have it on audio books??? I'll have to check into that.

Anonymous said...

i so wanna read it now!
great post!