Thursday, April 3, 2008

My Dad's Vocabulary

Talking to my dad can be very humorous and a bit confusing at the same time.

He has an interesting vocabulary. I have lived with him long enough to know basically what he means most of the time.

I am constantly amazed at the different ways he can mutilate pronounce words.:)

I'll give you a few examples.

He enjoys eating at an "All You Can Eat Buff-it". (Buffet)

Neososporin is what he uses on cuts. (Neosporin)

He takes Acetamenicen for a headache. (Acetaminophen)

My brother's friend is named Stye. (Cy short for Cyrus)

He likes to make spaghetti using ground beeth. (Beef)

He doesn't like his car to get to close to the medium on the road. (Median)

One of his favorite types of fish to eat is Falapia. (Tilapia)

The Food & Drug Administration he refers to as the FAA. (FDA)

He likes to fry chicken using granola oil. (Canola)

His favorite flavors of ice-cream are Metropolitan and Napoleon. (Both meaning Neapolitan)

He doesn't understand the "Theory of Revolution." (Evolution)

And just the other day he told me how much mom enjoyed reading my blob.(Blog)

There are many more, but you get the point. He's so funny. If we try to correct him he just says, "Same thing," or "You know what I mean!" :)

His mangled vocabulary reminds me a lot of Archie Bunker.

Here are a few Archie words and sayings that make me laugh out loud.:)

Like the Good Book says: "Let him who is without sin be the rolling stone."

The story of Noah and the whale.

Infernal Revenue.

Show me where to put my John Hancrock.

Engelbert Whats-his-dink.

Count of Monte Crisco.

Ain't ya never heard of Medicure?

What do I look like, an inferior decorator?

(Did she) RSBVD ya?

I work for myself. I'm what ya call an "entramanure."

Salivation Army.

A woman doctor is only good for women's your groinocology.


I love you, Daddy!:)


Sandra said...

Oh, that was just hysterical!!!! I read it to him and he said, "I ain't never speaking to her again!" Of course, he's kidding! He loved the picture at the end!
That was a good one!!!!

(He said, "That was pretty good, wasn't it?" She's got a good memory! Now he will be famous all over the world!)

Love you, Mom! :)

Mama Mia said...

A "blob" ROTFL!!! That is a keeper and so is your Dad!!

lizbeth5612 said...

I laughed until I cried. That was sooo funny.

Love ya,

Chris and Wanda said...

Amy, was that you and your daddy at the end? What a sweet picture? I love the baby sucking her fingers and looking at her papa. And the papa looking back.

Please don't break my bubble if it isn't you. Just let me live in my fantasy of perfect daddies and perfect babies.

You're so funny and you bring humor to my world.

Love you, Wanda

Amy said...

Yes, Wanda, that is me and my daddy. Mom copied the picture for me the other day.:)
I'm glad you liked it.
Love you too,

bryan said...

that's pretty funny about the tattoo. and the vocab, as well.

Michele said...

Oh you have to stop! I am falling off my chair! I love the picture of you and your dad! So Sweet!

Hartselle Atlanta Braves 5/6 said...

I stumbled onto your "blob" by way of Pioneer woman. I just read about the way your Dad says things and I had a good laugh! SOOOO Funny!
Thanks for making me smile.
God bless you and yours!
Julie in AL

Dianne said...

BWHAHAHAHAAHAH! I have tears rolling down my face, so so funny. My dad has a few too: Nokia pronounced Noi kia, prostate always said as prostrate - um like two totally different things, and we have an insurance co here called out surance he calls them out in surance.