It's Been A Long Time.......

Testing. Testing.

One. Two. Three.



Is this thing on?

(Just ignore me.)

It has been a long time since my last post. During my blogging break, I had all intentions of getting loads of housework done, and finally living in Martha Stewart like conditions. But that didn't happen.

Instead of working around the house, I had to deal with more medical issues for myself (I am okay; Thank You, Jesus!), and two kids that have been (and still are) very sick with the flu.

I did, however, manage to spend some time with God. I read a great book by Donna Partow called "Soon to be a Major Motion Picture."



I learned a lot about myself while reading this book. I learned so much about God in my life, but the main thing that I have realized about myself is that I have SO much more to learn. This past year has been a difficult one for me physically, but it has really taken a toll on me emotionally. I have noticed things about myself that I am not proud of. Things about my personality that I simply don't like. I won't bore you with all of the nonsense that goes on in my head on a daily basis, but I will tell you this: I have noticed that instead of just facing people and situations that have hurt me head on....I just run in the opposite direction. I don't know why I do this either. It's almost like I'd rather have my toenails ripped off one by one than to have to deal with conflict of any kind.

I run from situations that make me uncomfortable like a scared rabbit, and I don't know why. I am in the process of spending more time with God and trying to figure this out.

As the tens of you who read this blog probably already know, I am a very visual learner. And in the book "Soon to be a Major Motion Picture," Donna Partow describes a scene from the movie Out of Africa.

I will share with you what Donna says about this particular scene from Out of Africa.



The following words in bold are Donna Partow's exact words.

The movie Out of Africa contains an interesting scene where Karen Blixen has just arrived in Kenya from Denmark and is completely clueless about life on the savannah. She is out walking, unarmed, when a lioness confronts her. As she stands there terror-struck, a wise hunter happens upon her and offers this advice from shouting distance: "Don't run, Baroness, or she'll think you're something good to eat." Baroness Blixen stares the lion right in the eyes, stands her ground, and sure enough, the lion walks away.

Yes, we have an enemy roaming around like a roaring lion, actively seeking someone to devour. But if we simply stand firm in the face of his attacks, he'll go roar somewhere else. We have God's Word on that: Resist the devil, and he will flee from you (James 4:7, italics added). We don't need to become obsessed with him, but neither should we ignore him. We should see him for the roaring lion that he is and respond accordingly: Don't run. Stand firm.

Don't run. Stand firm.

Those words really touched me, because only a week or so earlier.....I was running scared. Shannon and I were shopping in Walmart (where else?), and I saw someone from my past that I absolutely did not want to run into. I barely caught a glimpse of this person, and I grabbed Shannon's arm and immediately went in the opposite direction. I could not get us out of that store quickly enough.

How ridiculous does that sound? I have not done anything to this person to be ashamed of, but I ran anyway. I still don't know the answer to "why" I do that, but I love now having the visual of Meryl Streep staring down that lioness. The next time I find myself in that type of uncomfortable situation, I pray that I don't run. I pray that I stand firm.

1 Peter 2:23
"When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly."

Anyway, for now, I am spending more time trying to work on seeing myself from God's perspective, so that I don't get devoured, so to speak. And the only way that I can do that is to spend more time with God.



I have missed blogging, but I have needed the break from it to deal with all of my emotional nonsense. Hopefully, I will be back posting regularly soon, but until then, just know that I am a work in very slow progress. And, God willing, I'll be able to post about making progress with my emotional nonsense, amen?;)

Ephesians 6:10-12
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

God Bless,
Amy:)

A Blogging Break

Starting today, I will be on a blogging break for a while. After all the months of back recovery nonsense that I have been going through, I have a lot of things that I need to finally try to accomplish around my home.

I pray God's blessings for all of you, and I'll see you soon.

In Christ,
Amy:)

1 Corinthians 14:40
"But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way."

Honest Scrap~ Part 2

Now for Part 2 of Honest Scrap. If you missed Part 1 of this post, you can click *here* to see it.

6. I use the Proactiv System to help with my facial break outs.



I love it.

Before I started using Proactiv, I really struggled with embarrassing break outs. But after only a few weeks of using this system, my skin improved so much.

I personally think that my skin has never looked better. What do you think? ;)



7. I used to have a big mole on my face.



I always hated it. But I lived with it, until I was in the eleventh grade that is.

A jerk guy in my art class at the time drew a caricature portrait of me. It was very good, admittedly, but he made the mole in my portrait ginormous! I was so humidified mortified. I went home crying and begged my mom to take me to the doctor to have it removed. Which she did. Thank you, Mom!

Not long after I had that big thing whacked off of my face, a new girl was making a name for herself in the modeling scene. You may remember her....Cindy Crawford anyone?



And much to my chagrin, she was made famous because of the "beauty mark" on her face.

Sigh.

I was so far ahead of my time.

8. Once I tried to be helpful to a stranger, but it did not work out at all like I had planned.

See, my mom and I were driving by this house in Crazyville, and there were a lot of cows all on the property. And to me, it looked as if one of the cows was on the grass, way too close to the road. I didn't like the thought of someone crashing their car into that BIG animal, so I pulled over and got out of the car. I saw the farmer out near the house, and I went to tell him that one of his cows was loose.

It went something like this....



Me: (As I was walking closer and closer to the man) Excuse me sir, one of your cows is llllll...oooooo.....sssssss...eeeeee.

Farmer: (Said as he chuckled to himself) No it's not! I've got an electric fence all the way around the property.

Me: (Dizzy and numb from having just been shocked as I walked right into the electric fence) Just ignore me....I'm sorry that I bothered you.

*Sigh*

Needless to say, if I say a loose cow now, I just keep on driving.

And please, whatever you do, do not mention that I told you this story to Shannon. He falls over in a heap of laughter every time anyone mentions getting "shocked" or "cows on the loose" around him.

You know the old saying....."No good deed goes unpunished."

And just between you and me, till this very day, every time I see a cow, I swear my leg goes numb. ;)

9. After living in the boonies of Crazyville for almost twenty years, I now talk like a hick. I sometimes feel like a full blown hillbilly if you want to know the truth.

I catch myself saying words like a hillbilly all the time.

For example I will ask Shannon sometimes, "What did ya do that fer?"

Fer? You would think I was raised in a barn.

That being said though, one of my all time favorite movies is Coal Miner's Daughter. I love how Loretta and Doolittle Lynn talk. And much to my family's dismay, I imitate them both. A lot. And if that movie is on, I have to watch it. I cannot help myself.



Here are a couple of my favorite quotes from the movie:

{the Webb children all receive new shoes, Loretta also receives a dress}
Webb child: Hey, how come she gets somethin' extry?
Ted Webb: Cause, your sister's become a young woman.
Webb child: Aww, she ain't no woman, she ain't nothin' but a dadburn kid.

{Loretta is seeing the doctor to see if she is pregnant}
Doctor: How you like married life, Loretta?
Loretta: Fine, 'cept me and Do is separated.

I could keep going, but I don't want the tens of you reading this blog to fall asleep before the end of this post. Just let me say, if you haven't seen this movie yet, run, do not walk, to your nearest Blockbuster store and rent it.

I'm just saying is all.

10. When I was about two years old, the lady that babysat me at the time, one day informed my parents that she believed I was retarded.



She thought I was retarded, because I could not do or say the same things that her kids could do or say. (Obviously, she was a little slow herself, because she didn't take into account that her kids were a couple of years older than me. But I digress.)

I'll give you an example.

My parents and I referred to my "private part" as my Beep-Beep. Well, the baby-sitter thought that was just ridiculous. She believed that all children should use "proper" terminology when referring to anything having to do with the body.

So, she insisted that I refer to my Beep-Beep as a vagina. Which, seeing as how I was apparently retarded, I could not pronounce correctly. So, instead of saying vagina, I would say "cagina."

And as if that wasn't bad enough, if I said that I had to go "Doo-Doo," she would have a fit. She insisted that I say that I needed to make a "Bowel Movement." Which, needless at this point to say, I also, could not pronounce. Instead, I would say, "I need to make a 'Bow Ma Mook.'"

Hence, why she thought I was retarded. Anyway, also needless to say, that was the last day that she ever baby sat me.;)

Well, if you made it all the way to the end of this long post, I applaud you and thank you!
And I would love all of you to take this Honest Scrap prize for your own blog and do a post of 10 honest things about yourself. No pressure though.;)

But, if you do this tag, please let me know, so that I can come to your blog and get my nosy fix on. ;)

Honest Scrap~ Part 1

I was given this great prize last week from Sondre Lyn.



Sondre Lyn always says the sweetest things to me.

Thank you for thinking of me for this prize, Sondre Lyn.

Sigh.

The rules are as follows:1) Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.2) Show the 7 winners names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with "Honest Scrap." Well, there's no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon.3) List at least 10 honest things about yourself.

I am having a hard time thinking of ten things about myself that the tens of you reading this blog don't already know, but I'm sure I will come up with something.

Let me see.

Oh, yes, here we go.

1. I loved the Twilight series of books by Stephenie Meyer.



Well, I loved most of them. I was SO excited to start the fourth book in the series. And I loved it up to a certain point, but then it started to just become ridiculous to me.

(Please, no tomato throwing.)

It got so bad that I could not even finish the book. I suffered my way through three fourths of the book, and finally, just gave up and skipped to the last chapter to see how it ended. And if you knew me at all, you would know that I usually have to finish a book if I start it.

Now don't get me wrong, I love Edward and Bella and their love story, but the last book was just too much for me.

I'm just saying is all.

I hope that we can all still be friends.;)

2. I don't like watermelon. At all. I think it is nasty! I know. I know. I am from the south; we are all supposed to love eating watermelon. I just can't do it. Sorry.

*ick*

3. I love to watch this new show called Ruby on the Style Network.



It is a show all about Ruby's journey to lose weight. My son Daniel likes to watch it with me. Ruby is so funny, and she has the best accent, evah. Which, unfortunately for my family, I love to imitate.

I think it is very funny when I talk like Ruby, but my family does not. Especially Daniel. He hates when I do it. Oh well, you can't please every body all the time, amen?;)

I found this clip on You Tube so you can hear her for yourself.



Daniel gets so humidified when I talk like Ruby in front of his friends. LOL!:)

Seriously, you can just ignore me if you want to.

4. I just recently joined and have become addicted to Facebook. This is my current default picture on Facebook.



Okay, that being said, a couple of weeks ago I received a friend request from a guy that I went to high school with. And attached to his friend request was a little personal message.

This is what his message said: "Holy crap, Amy, you look so different! How's everything going? It's been a long time."

Different?

What does that even mean?

I mean I know it's been a long time and all, but I look so different?

Who says that to an insecure woman that's about to turn 40?



Holy crap, I was SO humidified by that statement. ;)

5. Even though I am all grown up, about to turn 40, and haven't lived with my parents in almost 20 years, my mom still blames me for any and all items that she cannot find.



I'll give you an example of a typical "missing item" alert phone call.

The telephone rings.

I answer it.

Me: (Is this the party to whom I am speaking? *snort-snort*) Hello!



Mom: Amy, do you have my Tupperware lettuce keeper? I can't find it.

Me: No, Mom, I don't have it.

Mom: Are you sure? Because I thought you borrowed it once.

Me: No, Mom, I never borrowed it. I have my own Tupperware lettuce keeper.

Mom: Well, I didn't loan you my can opener, did I?

LOL!:)

The only missing thing that she doesn't blame me for taking is her Tupperware hair brush that she had been using for the last 30 years. She blames that on my uncle.;)

So, please, I urge you, if you see either one of these vintage Tupperware items.....





Please call me. ;)

I love you, Mom!

I'll finish up with the last five honest things about myself in my next post.

Until then.......

Grilling Goodness With Tina And Friends~ 15

It's that time again...Time for some more "Grilling Goodness." If you would like to join in all of the fun, just click here. Tina would love to have you all participate!

Now, on to the grilling.....

1. Have you ever ridden a horse?

Yes, I have ridden on a horse. When I was a little girl my granddaddy had a horse he let me ride on. The horse was named Sugar.



And then there was this one time (I shudder even recalling it) when I was a teenager that I got on a horse. Only, I didn't know that you were supposed to hold on to the reins the whole time that you were riding on the horse. I learned this though as the horse ran us up in between two trees.

Shudder.

2. Have you ever run out of gas?

No. I have not ever run out of gas. I am the type of girl that is always paranoid about running out of gas. I think I'm practically on empty when I am down to only half a tank of gas.

I have a HUGE fear of running out of gas. I have nightmares about it even.

Of course, in my nightmares when I am running out of gas, I look like Jessica Simpson, and there are plenty of paparazzi around that are willing to help me......



....but, it still freaks me out.

3. How many different schools did you attend growing up?

Several.

I went to one school for kindergarten, where all did was sit, sit, and sit. LOL!:) (That's a little family joke, right Mom?)

Then I went to a small private Christian school from the first through eighth grade.

It closed down, so my parents sent me to another private school, which I hated for a solid year and a half. After a year and a half of complete and utter misery, I woke up one morning and informed both of my parents that I was NO longer going to go that *&$! hole anymore!

So, I proceeded to get myself enrolled in an optional program in a public school in the area. In order to go to this school, I would have to be accepted into their art program. I got my art portfolio together, made an appointment for my mom, dad, and I to meet the principal and art teacher, and I even arranged a ride to and from school for myself. (This is a true story.) I finished the last two and half years of high school at that public school, and I loved every minute of it!

And Mom and Dad, I'm sorry that I put you both through all of that stress, but thank God, it worked out well. As Matthew says all the time, "Romans 8:28."

4. Do you have, and use, a library card?

Yes, I have library card. I have used it, but not so much in the last six or seven months. But now that I am done with all of my bed rest nonsense, I will probably be a regular at the Crazyville library.



5. Hand-wash or dishwasher?

I hand washed dishes for the first thirty-five years give or take of my life.



Then one day, I just decided that I had had enough, and I demanded that my sweet husband get me a dishwasher.

And God love him, he did.

It was love at first sight.

Just between you and me, as soon as I laid eyes on that beautiful piece of modern machinery, I started to hear Etta James singing in my ears....

♫
"At last, my love has come along
My lonely days are over
And life is like a song
Oh, yeah, at last
The skies above are blue
My heart was wrapped up in clovers
The night I looked at you
I found a dream that I could speak to
A dream that I can call my own
I found a thrill to rest my cheek to
A thrill that I have never known
Oh, yeah when you smile, you smile
Oh, and then the spell was cast
And here we are in heaven
For you are mine
At last"
♫



It's a love affair that I hope will last forever.

Sigh.

6. Does your alarm clock beep or play music?

Neither.

My alarm clock shakes me and says in a very sexy voice, "It's time to get up honey!" ;)

7. Do you know how to roller skate?

I used to go roller skating all the time when I was in the fifth and sixth grade; I could roll with the best of them. And I was obsessed with the movie called Roller Boogie. Do you remember it?



It was like Saturday Night Fever on wheels. I loved it; it was SO romantic. You just gotta love the seventies, amen?

Anyway, the last time that I went roller skating was when my boys were little. It had been a looooong time since I had been on roller skates, and I don't know if it was just me, but the skating rink floor seemed really slippery. Like ice or something.

I put on my skates. Stood up. Fell down. Stood up again. Made my way to the ice rink and attempted to skate with my son Daniel.

Unfortunately, the whole experience did not play out like I had planned. After about 2 1/2 seconds on the ice rink, I started to go down. I panicked a bit. I grabbed for my son and took him down with me.

It was SO embarrassing. And dangerous for all involved. I have since retired from the sport.

8. What would you consider one of your biggest accomplishments?

I guess that I would have to say that my biggest accomplishment is homeschooling my boys for all of their school years so far. Matthew is in the eleventh grade, and Daniel is in the eighth.

Some years were so difficult for all of us, but we stuck with it. We didn't give up. And as a family, I feel like this a HUGE accomplishment.

The first years were the most difficult for me personally, because of all of the criticism that I faced from family, friends, and other home school families. I sometimes felt like a pioneer, of sorts.

Looking back on the comments that caused me so much confusion and doubts is very funny to me now, but at the time, it was very difficult. Sometimes home school moms can be quite the judgmental bunch, and I felt the judgment many times. I found this cartoon that I absolutely could have written myself many years ago.

If you are a home school mom (or even if you're not), I hope that this will make you laugh out loud like I did.

Google Search Words And Phrases ~2

Several months ago, I did a post about the different Google search words and phrases that people had typed in only to be led to my blog. (You can click here to see that post.)

Well, over the last year I have been writing down the different ones that really jumped out at me, and now, I am going to share some of them with you again.

The letters in bold are the exact words that the people entered in a Google search. You can click on some of them to see the exact post of mine that their search words and phrases led to. Some of the words and phrases just led to my blog in general. I'm willing to bet that the majority of people that were led here did not find the information that they were looking for most of the time.

I'm just saying.

So, without further ado, here are some of my favorites......

"my life is a really big mess right now and thank you for being a friend"

I feel your pain.

"there is no such thing as natural beauty"

Amen to that, sister! ;)

"jennifer aniston's feet"

"jennifer aniston's feet being tickled"



Poor things.

"uh baby what you done to me you make me feel so good inside"

I'm glad that I could help. ;)

"cow pie cakes"





Just ignore me.

"Christina Applegate-nude-naked-porn"

"filled her pants"

"my dress really had to pee"

With search words like these, it makes you wonder what kind of blog I have here; doesn't it? You know what, don't answer that. Thanks!

"the griswald's blogspot"



We're not the exactly the Griswald family, but we are definitely related. LOL! :)

I love these two entries that came from people in India:

"I am on life make me woman last day"

"hark to knows the angel see"

Bless their hearts.

"hair and make up for evening wear"



"make and hair trips"



I think they came to the right place for hair and make up trips, amen?;) LOL!

"elephant ear washer"



That is the single most googled phrase that leads people to this blog. I get at least one or two people every single day that are apparently looking for information about the elephant ear washer. You should do a post about it on your blog, and see if you don't get the same response.

Here are some more phrases that I see almost every single day as well, especially from people in Florida.

"how do I keep frogs out of the toilet?"

"nasty frogs in my toilet"

"frogs keep showing up in toilet"



I like to tease Shannon that this blog is not only entertaining, but it is also educational. From our terrible frog in the toilet experience (shiver), we are helping tens of people keep frogs out of their own toilets.

And last, but certainly not least, my personal favorite........

"kid rock's favorite sandwich"



Don't judge.;)

"I'll Watch The Movie"

For today's post, I am going to share with you something that my son, Matthew, posted on his Facebook page last week. I pray that his words bless you as much as they blessed Shannon and me.

"I'll Watch The Movie"

I was just listening to a Switchfoot song, and I started to really try to understand the lyrics. Here's the important part:

Nothing but a chemical in my head
It's nothing but laziness
Cause I don't wanna read the book
I'll watch the movie
Cause it's not me
I'm just like everybody else my age

I think I'd rather play around
And I think I'd rather watch TV
Cause I don't wanna face my fears
I'll watch the movie
Cause it's not me
I'm just like everybody else
I'm just like everybody else

It's about the tendency of us as teenagers to blame our passiveness, our laziness, our inability to put effort into anything on the fact that we are teenagers, that we're human. We don't want to read the Bible everyday; we'd rather "watch the movie." We'd rather take the easy way out: show up at Church, hear (but not listen to) what the speaker says, give the most sincere sounding answers to direct questions, and move on with our lives Monday through Saturday.

I say this because it's exactly what I have found myself doing many a Sunday. I've also seen something else in me: discontentment. Lack of peace with my life that always accompanies just "watching the movie." Lack of faith in my ability to carry myself through the week. The feeling that no matter what I do, whether it be doing schoolwork, watching TV, listening to music, talking to friends, or just taking a nap, I cannot improve my mood. I cannot boost my confidence. I cannot do anything on my own (or even with the help of others) to make this life livable.

But when I do turn off the movie and pick up the Book, that contentment and peace that I've been missing, that faith in the fact I'm going to survive this week, that feeling that not I but He can do something to give me exactly what I need, returns. Tom just talked about this this Sunday, and he's right. He's dead on. Nothing in this life will ever do you good like finally getting into the Word: nothing. I know that sounds like such a "church" thing to say, but it's the truth. It's as true as it gets. I've never found anything to be so true in my life.

James 1:22
"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

Matthew also suggested that I share the song with you, so if you're interested, take a listen.
God Bless,
Amy:)

Grilling Goodness With Tina And Friends~ 14

It's that time again...Time for some more "Grilling Goodness." If you would like to join in all of the fun, just click here. Tina would love to have you all participate!

Now, on to the grilling.....

1. Do you like scary movies?

Very much! Scary, suspenseful type movies though, not gory! I like to be on the edge of my seat, but I do not enjoy blood bath type movies. They make my stomach sick.
Here's a preview of one that I really love. It's creepy......



Shudder.

2. What kind of cell phone do you have?

Compared to all of the new fancy phones that everyone else is carrying these days, my cell phone is very similar to a World War II walkie talkie.



I'm just saying.

3. Do you have a passport?

Yes, I do. I had to get one to go to the Mediterranean with Melissa. And thankfully, it has a much better picture of me than my driver's license does. But that is for another embarrassing post.

4. Has anything sad happened in your life this week?

Not this week. Thank You, Jesus!

5. Have you ever broken any bones?

Although I apparently tried many times throughout my childhood (my parents even nicknamed me "The Emergency Room Kid," because I always seemed to end up there), I never broke any bones.

Okay, well that's not entirely true, but let's just keep this between us, Mmmkay?

I did fall this one time and sort of fractured my tail bone when I was about 10 or so. (I try not to think about it, because even at that young age, it was very humiliating to have an x-ray of my bottom on display for the entire emergency room department to gawk at. But I digress.) I had to sit on a pillow for quite a while after the fall, until my tailbone healed.

It still bothers me even now that I am almost 40 older. When the weather changes, it really hurts. I have even been to known to predict the occasional snowfall. Shannon likes to tease me about it. He calls my weather prediction ability: Rectal Radar. LOL!:)

You know what, let's just forget that I even mentioned this, okay? Thanks!

6. Did you do anything this week that you don't normally do?

No. All I did was light house work followed by five to six hours a day of bed rest (with good hair). But I am very pleased to tell you that I only have one more week of bed rest to go, and then, God willing, I will be back to normal! Yay, me!

7. What's the worst thing you ever had in your wardrobe?

As the tens of you who read this blog already know, I have had many fashion and hair related mishaps over the years.



But the only one that I can recall off the top of my head (and that I have photographic evidence of) was my snazzy Hee Haw overalls.



It was apparent from early on in my life that being remotely fashionable was going to be a struggle for me.

8. Did you have braces on your teeth?

Yes, I did have to wear braces on my teeth. I wore them for two and half long, long, long emotionally painful years.



Sigh.

Every time I see that picture of me, it makes me think of Josie Geller.



Bless both of our hearts.

The teenage years were painful.