Bathing Suits And Other Mischief

I have a big trip coming up in May (I will tell you about that soon), so I desperately really needed to purchase a bathing suit.

So a few nights ago while Shannon and I were killing time waiting for the boys to get out of the movies, we decided to go into Wal-Mart and see if I could find a bathing suit there.

I know the thought of a Wal-Mart story is probably already putting you to sleep, but stay with me.:)

It is very interesting to me that there are all kinds of bathing suit options out in stores today, but every time I am out looking somewhere there are usually only two choices.

For instance, this would be fine if I was guest starring on Baywatch.



And obviously this one would be fine if I was guest starring on The Golden Girls.



The problem is finding something in between the Baywatch and the Golden Girl years.
It is very hard to find a youthful but modest bathing suit for a thirty-something mother of two, that happens to have a little extra "junk in her trunk".:)

So back to Wal-Mart. Shannon and I searched and searched. We finally were able to come up with a couple of choices somewhere between Baywatch and The Golden Girls.

I took both suits and went into the dressing room. Now, I did not want to buy anything without Shannon seeing it on me first. (This is because I think all store mirrors are rigged!) However, I did not want to parade myself all over Wal-Mart to show him how it looked on me, so I asked him to step in the dressing room with me after I had put the second suit on.(The first suit nobody but me needed to see; you know what I'm saying?)

Now we've been married for almost 17 years, so I didn't think this would be so offensive to anybody......but I was wrong.

When Shannon stepped out of my dressing room (after giving me the thumbs up on my bathing suit) he got yelled at. After I put my clothes back on and came out of the dressing room, I also got yelled at. I haven't been in trouble like that since I was in the sixth grade.

The "dressing room attendant" expressed her STRONG displeasure at our actions.

She said to Shannon and me, "We don't allow that in this store!.......There are some customers who could have been very offended if they saw THAT!"

I'm not exactly sure what "THAT" meant, but obviously she had the wrong idea.

Shannon just looked at her. I remained calm and politely said to her, "Your customers would have been a lot more offended at the sight of my big butt bottom hanging out of that small bathing suit."

She just looked at us and said, "Well, I'm sure they would have!"

At least we agreed on that issue.......:)

Shannon and I both just smiled at her and thanked her for her rudeness help as we walked away. We both felt like we were sixteen again and had just got caught kissing in the school library(or worse).

It was embarrassing and funny at the same time.

The bad news is that Shannon and I think we may now be banned from our local Wal-Mart, but the good news is that I did find a new bathing suit.

I don't necessarily look like a swimsuit model in it, but I don't look like a geriatric patient either.

So what do you think?



I'm just delusional kidding~:)