Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Bathing Suits And Other Mischief

I have a big trip coming up in May (I will tell you about that soon), so I desperately really needed to purchase a bathing suit.

So a few nights ago while Shannon and I were killing time waiting for the boys to get out of the movies, we decided to go into Wal-Mart and see if I could find a bathing suit there.

I know the thought of a Wal-Mart story is probably already putting you to sleep, but stay with me.:)

It is very interesting to me that there are all kinds of bathing suit options out in stores today, but every time I am out looking somewhere there are usually only two choices.

For instance, this would be fine if I was guest starring on Baywatch.

And obviously this one would be fine if I was guest starring on The Golden Girls.

The problem is finding something in between the Baywatch and the Golden Girl years.
It is very hard to find a youthful but modest bathing suit for a thirty-something mother of two, that happens to have a little extra "junk in her trunk".:)

So back to Wal-Mart. Shannon and I searched and searched. We finally were able to come up with a couple of choices somewhere between Baywatch and The Golden Girls.

I took both suits and went into the dressing room. Now, I did not want to buy anything without Shannon seeing it on me first. (This is because I think all store mirrors are rigged!) However, I did not want to parade myself all over Wal-Mart to show him how it looked on me, so I asked him to step in the dressing room with me after I had put the second suit on.(The first suit nobody but me needed to see; you know what I'm saying?)

Now we've been married for almost 17 years, so I didn't think this would be so offensive to anybody......but I was wrong.

When Shannon stepped out of my dressing room (after giving me the thumbs up on my bathing suit) he got yelled at. After I put my clothes back on and came out of the dressing room, I also got yelled at. I haven't been in trouble like that since I was in the sixth grade.

The "dressing room attendant" expressed her STRONG displeasure at our actions.

She said to Shannon and me, "We don't allow that in this store!.......There are some customers who could have been very offended if they saw THAT!"

I'm not exactly sure what "THAT" meant, but obviously she had the wrong idea.

Shannon just looked at her. I remained calm and politely said to her, "Your customers would have been a lot more offended at the sight of my big butt bottom hanging out of that small bathing suit."

She just looked at us and said, "Well, I'm sure they would have!"

At least we agreed on that issue.......:)

Shannon and I both just smiled at her and thanked her for her rudeness help as we walked away. We both felt like we were sixteen again and had just got caught kissing in the school library(or worse).

It was embarrassing and funny at the same time.

The bad news is that Shannon and I think we may now be banned from our local Wal-Mart, but the good news is that I did find a new bathing suit.

I don't necessarily look like a swimsuit model in it, but I don't look like a geriatric patient either.

So what do you think?

I'm just delusional kidding~:)


Sandra said...

This is the FUNNIEST one yet! I'm sitting here just howling!!! You are going to be the next Erma Bombeck!! Love you--Mom :)

Mama Mia said...

I haven't worn a swimsuit without a skirt in 10 years!! Wish you had my discount card to help you out! (hubby works in automotive dept.)
Hope you have a great day girl!!

Beandip71 said...

LOL! That is a great story. I know what you mean about finding a swim suit that is somewhere between an SI model and golden girls. Glad you found what you were looking for. :)


Anonymous said...

lol! So funny! Now I would have ran around the store a few times then came back to the dressing room just to really make her day. LOL!

Mama Mia said...

Amy, I would love to pray for your boys and their upcoming test! Here is my email
Let me know how they do okay? There is nothing like lifting up names to heaven!

My Goodness said...

Fun-NY story!! Busted, that's what you were!! hee hee

Glad you found one...I always dread looking for a swimsuit...I don't like all my stuff showing!!

Michele said...

Oh that is so funny! Unfortunately I have to wear those horrid skirt type suits. UGH!

Lelia Chealey said...

That is hilarious!!! I would've had a hard time being nice...all godliness would've left the building at that point. :)

hulagirlatheart said...

hee hee. I love this. The onery part of me would have probably wanted to lay a big kiss on my husband's face before sweetly saying "We're sorry". Swimsuit shopping is the worst...especially when buying a suit for a teenaged daughter with big boobs. Argh!!

Chris and Wanda said...

You look beautiful, as always!

SweetPea said...

I was cruising your site to read some of your old blogs. Man you sure have a way of "story telling".

I wanted to add that I had a feeling of what you were going to say when you mentioned Walmart and dressing room. A couple years ago, I too was trying on bathing suits. I am like you and value my husbands opinion. Our Walmart dressing rooms are very small...two men and two women stalls. Chris was not even allowed to step near the door on the women's side. It's not even really sectioned off - not like he was entering the women's side or anything. I just wanted him to step to the door so I could remain in the room and he could see me but be a baracade to other's seeing me. Must be a Walmart thing. I've had him come into many dressing rooms with me and I go with him...Kohl's I think, definitely Meijers. Can't remember the others.

Must be something with the Walmart attendees being rude. Must be an awful position and their displeasure with their job shines through.

I can't believe the woman agreed with you about others being upset to see your bottom hange out.

Good one.

Jen said...

Hey Amy! My name is Jenny & I work with your mom. She is the sweetest woman & I just love her. She's so proud of you. She shared your blog page with me, and I'm enjoying reading it. I love the Wal-mart bathing suit story! You are so lucky that you & your husband can still fit into the same dressing room :) I can't wait to read your stories from your trip! Have a blessed day! - Jen