She said, "Well, my cousin has decided to not go on the trip, and I was wondering if you would like to go?"......(I'm not sure if these were her exact words, because I experienced a little "shock" during this conversation, but you at least get my point.)
I was speechless......And if you have read this blog even one time, then you know being at a loss for words is not a problem I generally suffer with.
After catching my breath and figuring out how to speak again I said, "Of course, I would love to go, but a trip to the Mediterranean is not exactly in our budget right now." (My family and I have had to deal with a difficult financial situation this past year due to some issues that came about at my husband's job.)
Melissa calmly said, "No, you don't understand. It's paid for."
Once again, I was rendered speechless.
I asked her to please explain what she meant
She proceeded to tell me that since her cousin backed out, her aunt and uncle would lose the money that they had spent for her portion of the trip. So they would rather somebody get to go and enjoy it, plus it would be more fun for Melissa to have a friend along as well. She also explained that although the cruise and hotels would be completely paid for, I would be responsible for my airfares and any spending money for excursions off of the ship.
Melissa said, "Amy, I want you to get to go and write your own name in the sand!"
She really wanted me to go (and I really wanted to go), but I told her that I would have to pray about it, and obviously talk to Shannon as well.
When I hung up the phone from that conversation, I immediately closed my eyes and started talking to God. I asked Him for direction and for a confirmation from Him if this is something that He wanted me to do. Even though the majority of the trip was being paid for, I still had to come up with airfare and spending money, and with our budget being tight, this was a real concern. Not to mention being away from home for twenty-four days. In. A. Row.
After praying, I went straight to my Bible and devotional books.
I opened "Our Daily Bread," and it was a devotional titled "Sheer Delight." This devotional message was based on Psalm 37:4.
Delight yourself . . . in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. —Psalm 37:4
David encouraged us in Psalm 37 to delight in the Lord and not to envy others (vv.1-4). Although he was talking about envying people who get away with evil, we can apply it to other types of envy. Instead of comparing ourselves with others, we need to delight ourselves in God. In His time, He’ll fulfill the desires of our heart and affirm that we are in His will.
We’re all in “God’s service” as believers. And serving Him is a sheer delight. — Anne Cetas
At the end of this passage the author, Anne Cetas, says, "Contentment comes when God's will is more important than our wants."
God revealed to me at this very moment, that He was fulfilling the desires of my heart, but that it came as a result of my contentment in Him. Like I told you yesterday, I was thrilled for Melissa. When I found out about this amazing trip that she had been blessed with, there was no envy in my heart.......At other times in my life, I have felt envious of people who had things that I wanted. But after the difficult financial situation that we have been through this past year, God has shown me what really matters in life. The amount of money in my bank account does not matter to God, however, the amount of my faith in Him does.
After praying and talking it over with Shannon, we both agreed that this was a gift from God, and that I should definitely accept it.
The next morning, I called Melissa
The days after that phone conversation are still a blur to me. I went from elated one moment to crying the next. I was overwhelmed that the Lord Of All Creation would want to bless me with such a gift.
I simply did not feel worthy of it..........